Fight for Equestria 1: friendship is parody
by Lord Michael Blackburn
Summary: AKA: the battle for equestria halo/mlp parody. reposted after FF deleted it. this is where it began, for halo/MLP stories...it is the start of a offensive satire that defined an era, join pvt mendez, marcus waters, rainbow dash and more in the most retarded parody of 2011. rated M for anything you can think of.
1. Chapter 1

A/N era 2012: FF. NET removed this story; so this is a repost of it.

"The fight for Equestria"

By: Michael Blackburn

Back story,

Author's note- Before you read this story, here were my notes I made for this, so you can get an Idea of some stuff to expect. Some of the listed persons/units may not appear in this book specifically. Oh, and the listed characters are going to most of my halo books, WARNING: THIS IS A PARODY, ON THE LINES OF" MONTY PYTHON" AND "EPIC MOVIE" don't troll because I joke too much.

-UPDATE-

This is the edited chapter, so it has spacing now.

-HUMANS-

Cast: 5th intergalactic semi-mechanized armor battalion

Lead elements:

CPT. Jackson beers, a 15-year veteran who has fought in many fights against the covenant in his M808-ST "scorpion" MBT named aptly _the death machine,_ with over 200 kills in his name. He cares about his men, and will lead them valiantly though this campaign to finish what's left of the covenant. But it is unknown how he will act when seeing ponies that talk.

2ND LT Cole sanders, serving the same length as beers, he had been beers' second in command since the 1st battle of earth; he operates the scorpion tank named _"Cole train"._

-Infantry-

Sgt. Marcus waters, battle hardened veteran of almost the entire human-alien war, lost his family on harvest, is a dedicated leader

-Minor cast-

Admiral john Walters, one of the last surviving navel leaders, the only reason they sent him is because lord hood hates his guts. Commands ship UNSC _James Lawrence d-4962 _

Thompson s-121 the smart AI for the _Lawrence _

-UNSC equipment-

M808-T "scorpion" MBT-G2

High command found the existing scorpion to be next to useless because of its weak armament and light armor, so the make a next-gen version with better upgrades, a 120-MM high velocity HE cannon gave it some sharp teeth against tanks and other mobile units, and a 12.7-mm co-axial MG shredded infantry, and it was just as well protected, with (in spots) up to 40 inches of poly-ceramic steel, and space for a "dumb" AI to assist in aiming, it also had 2 diesel engines put in it for better speed to keep pace with warthogs and other ground-based transports or assault units. It has the strength to take a 20-second burst from a scarab's main gun, which can level bunkers in seconds

M808-SA/U "scorpion" CSU

As the high command looked at the list of casualties of the human-covenant war, one unit stood high on the list: specialist flamethrowers, because in the next war that would someday happen, they commissioned GM-USA to start on a flamethrower unit that had range, power, and was very mobile and durable, the catch of this project was cost: it needed to be cheaper as or less than a scorpion tank. GM saw the solution to the problem very quickly: use a scorpion chassis and body frame to build a sturdy flamethrower. The result made high command wet themselves: a M808-G2 tank, that had a 12.7-mm MG and a MK3 anti-structure projector that spat out a 1,500 yard stream of jellied napalm death, and had almost the same stats as the MBT version, but there was one drawback: it tended to explode in a ball of fire if it got destroyed, as simulations showed. Command was too happy burning out insurgent bunkers and solders to care about that.

M808-SAT "tiger" MK1

The UNSC knew that even if they had better tanks, they needed a unit that could kill a scarab ultra-heavy gun in 2-3 hits, that version was the M808-G2 with a 147-MM heavy ALIM-class gun, that the only drawback to this unit was it had no machine gun, so it relied on other units for anti-infantry cover. The "tiger" was a big hit as a tank killer and a bunker buster, and is used as a "will you surrender NOW?" device.

M808-SEU "M.T.G.U"(move that gear up) (E)

High command, wanting a armed recovery/engineer/infantry killer unit, and GM was ordered to use a MK2 tank chassis, the result was a M808 MBT with twin miniguns, a crane and a mine plow as well as a mine layer and field vehicle repair kit, is known as "the infantries worst nightmare" and "the slaughter house". It looks very menacing, and is just as useful on the field, name is a reference to _team fortress 2 _

M808-T "armadillo" APC

A scorpion tank that had turret replaced with a troop compartment. Has dual 1919's on a gunner seat. Can hold 12 troops.

M-12 LRV MK2 "warthog" AA-variant/ other variants (known/listed)

It is the almost the same warthog that was produced nearly 90 years earlier, it just had safely features added "seatbelts" and a new gun: the dual MK1 40-MM bofor AA gun with flak rounds to nail banshees and infantry, but the M-12 series has a 12.7-MM mg version, a MLRS version, a L-AT GAUSS version, and a transport version. Nothing will ever stop the use of the warthog.

AV-14 "hornet"

Advanced VTOL made around the time of the warthog, it was the primary air unit for the army, it was the new helicopter, and works even today, it just had more armor added so it could take flak, armed even to hunt down tanks, it is a good multi-role unit.

"Falcon" (better known as "epic fail-con")

Transport, similar in use as a helicopter, it was a waste of programming space in reach (I hated it, and if one gets put in the book, it will always get shot down :3)

Sparrow hawk- halo wars incarnation, may be used as heavy gunship, armed with MK3 laser, and auto-cannons, can dogfight banshees

MK-1 AEGIS-class heavy assault cruiser, _James Lawrence_ _d-4962 _

A ship built to fight off a covenant flagship; it is at home carrying equipment to invade whole planets, as it carries 5 battalions of tanks, 10,000 infantrymen, a fleet of longswords, and can fire a mass driver round similar to the ones orbit assault guns fire. Only one exists due to the cost it requires to build one. And the MAC cannon is called _hand of god_. Designed to be able to drop massive amounts of infantry/tanks/ and other assets from orbit

-COVENANT-

(major) Cast:

Brute chieftain, Basilius, the mastermind of the splinter group, trying to ally with the ponies so they could get a bigger work force, is a intellect of brutes and very smart

Grunt commander (AKA grunt major in my writing): he is the chuck Norris of grunts, he wears prizes he got from dead humans (ODST helmet, marine chest-plate, boots and bandolier) he is an asshole, Hands down.

-now that you know what some of this stuff is, let's begin! (PS: I didn't list anything about the ponies, because if you watch MLP: FIM you will understand, and If I add something new, I will post my notes about before each new chapter. -Blackburn

Chapter 1: reveille

_Captain's report, august 21, 2571, the covenant has been gone for years after their civil war, and now the elites are peaceful to humans now, but dangerous splinter groups of brutes, buggers ,jackals, and grunts and all over the galaxy, still a threat to the UNSC, and it is up to the James Lawrence to stop them. In recent scans of this uncharted sector of space show covenant signatures all across the board, and with orders from HIGHCOM we are moving it to that system to exterminate to splinter group's forces. _Thompson, report on distance to waypoint. A flash of light on a stand materialized into a businessman-like hologram _well, sir we are 14 light years away from system, and at our current speed, will be there in 1 hour and 14 minutes_.

"Very good, Thompson, thank you" _it was my pleasure, captain_ and his hologram disappeared. The admiral leaned over to a shipmate and commanded "open up ship-wide coms, and after I finish, go to a level 1 alert, prep the ship for battle, make sure the landing frigates are ready, etc. etc. etc." the shipmate nodded "aye' admiral, the com is linked to your headset now"

the admiral inhaled, and then started his address to the crew of the _Lawrence_

"attention all personal, we are in less than an hour, going to be in visual range of the planet the covenant splinter group is currently holed up on, and if we crush them here and now, then there will be no large ship with slipspace capabilities left in there fleet, slitting the neck of their forces and ending any threats to earth and/or the remaining colonies humanity has left. I just want to wish all of you, from longsword pilots to ODST's to tank crews, the best of luck because you were selected for OPERATION: TROLLING THUNDER because you are the bravest most loyal and experienced veteran's earth has left, and you will be the ones to prove to all who are still here, that you are the fiercest troops any race can muster, and insure humanity's protection for a long time to come. As I will keep saying, good luck, and Godspeed gentlemen."

As the broadcast ended, the admiral wondered how the men are reacting.

(Elsewhere on the _Lawrence…_)

Marcus waters laughed as the broadcast ended "_well, if were the best of the best humanities got, were all fucked_!" all the other helljumpers roared with approving laughter as Marcus went on "_and we aren't the best, were just so damn good the leathernecks and flyboys can't keep up, who gives two fucks about them? We are the cream of the god-damn corps! To I hear a "hell yeah sarge"? _

All the ODST's on deck screamed "HELL YEAH SARGE" and the ship board AI thought a riot broke out in the rec room. Marcus looked and then declared "I CAN'T HEAR YOU LADIES, WHAT DID I SAY?" then the ODST's screamed it so loud, the pilots at the bar knew some of the ODST's would pass out from lack of oxygen…or lack of modesty. Marcus laughed and said "damn right, and guess what? Drinks on me!"

the word "drinks" combined with "on me" led to a stampede of helljumpers charging so fast to the bars, the pilots and bartender jumped out of the way to avoid being trampled by drink-crazed ODST's. Almost unanimously, they all wanted shots of whiskey, and someone to turn the radio to "flip" music before the tore the rec room apart, and also for non-helljumpers to "get the fuck out of there happy hour". Normally, all other personal left, except there were 2 guys who had kept their spots at the bar the whole time, and all the ODST's glared and started to threaten them to move out of their rec room, but suddenly shut up as they saw who they were, and Marcus knew who they were: Jackson beers and Cole sanders, they greatest tank commanders that ever were in the UNSC, and on several instances, saved him or his men's lives, and had undying respect for the tankers, and all the ODST's knew not to mess with them.

Beers looked at the jumpers in an angry expression, in the background; Marcus swore he heard someone piss themselves. Jackson and Cole heard as well, but then the broke out laughing "just shittn' you guys, how could we be mad? No-one gives 2 fucks about us! All the ODST's laughed as well, knowing that there asses weren't going to be kicked by the tankers, and bought them rounds of whiskey, the helljumpers water. Later that night, after raising hell with the ODST's, Jackson, Marcus, and Cole stumbled down the hall, drunk as can be, but suddenly stopped in fear, seeing that the ODST's were all drunk, and couldn't "drop into hell" and that the lead tankers were wasted as hell, because the assault on the splinter groups planet . Marcus slapped the shit out of the tankers, and made them puke up the whiskey, they were not going to miss a hot drop, nor was he. -

Down on apple acres, applejack was busy preparing the food for the meeting of princess celestia and the leader of "the covenant" and its leader Basilius, a large, hairy and scary creature that, with the other members of the "covenant" that landed in Equestria 2 weeks ago, and recently took over stalliongrad and "militarized" it, whatever that means, and threaten to kill all ponyfolk like us, unless we join forces and help build up there army and kill "humans" whatever the hay those are.

She looked up, at her "overseers" 2 bird-like creatures she doubted even Fluttershy would like…well, if she hadn't been killed by those birds earlier today, she remembered the scene from yesterday, Fluttershy was at the farm, talking when all of a sudden, this big hairy thing holding a terrified messenger from canterlot, claiming that I was to prepare a feast for the negations or else something bad would happen, I was stupid enough to ask what would happen, then the big hairy thing grunted "kill the yellow one, do as you will" to the birds, and in a flash they tackled Fluttershy and _started eating her_ the horrendous sight haunts me, as she screamed why'll the birds laughed and ate.

They will pay, I sure on Fluttershy's grave. The creature, calling itself a "brute" said that will be all of ponyfolk's fate unless we help them and the princess wanted to negotiate something of a truce, to avoid conflict. As she went back to work, she heard a loud sound in the sky, and fiery streaks speeding down, as well as dark green "birds" that carried strange tan colored "things" underneath them, the birds must have known what they were as they got on a radio and called the command. Just as they put the radio down, and pulled out the little green "c's" they had just as the streaks hit the ground.

The pods blew open as black-clad creatures one of the birds called humans stepped out and pointed a black bar at the bird, before I knew it these black-clad "humans" blew the heads off all the birds and looked up at the sky to see a giant purple ship the brutes used as transport open fire on the humans, they immediately went and hid in cover to shoot back, and As applejack ran and hid in the farmhouse, she smiled and thought to herself "time to make some new friends".


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I thank the people who left a review(s), I tried spacing so it wasn't a spam of text, also, here's where shit go's crazy and retarded, and there will be action parts of this book, but primarily there will be parodies of ODST's, brutes and rainbow dash's lack of heterosexuality. Oh, and some chapters will take some time to make, because everything I write, I get in dreams (good or bad), so each chapter, I gotta dream about, then wake up as fast as I can and type it, and I just gotta spell-check my other chapters, and then I will post them. Have fun, don't get mindfucked.

Chapter 2 serious tone has left the building

All right, Marcus started; the flyboys are bringing in armor after the give us some stuff for defending, in the mean time, look around this farm, see if there are any covvies in the zone. "SIR YES SIR" the ODST's yelled over there helmet COM, as they spread out across the farm to see if there were more contacts in there AO.

3 minutes past H-HOUR, 4 pelicans carrying light defense weapons landed and unloaded equipment on the small LZ they made. After the dust settled from the pelicans engines, they inspected there new toys. Upon inspection they got out 5 M2 browning MK5's a GAUSS cannon as well as a BOFORS 40-mm AA gun, not much, but just enough to cause a problem, Marcus chuckled as he thought of ripping a brutes guts out with the gauss, he always loved how their guts vaporized from the force the gauss has behind it. Little did he know, his mind was going to get fucked like a car insurance buyer.

Over the radio, a panicky voice yelled "SARGE, CALL A MEDIC BECAUSE MENDEZ GOT A BRAIN HEMMORAGE! AND THERE IS A TALKING HORSE IN HERE, AND IT SURE AIN'T MR. ED!" Marcus didn't know that his eyes just crossed from hearing this.

He gingerly replied on the radio "are you guys drunk, or on LSD?" the voice replied "just get over here sir! Mendez is trying to blog about this!" hearing the hated word "blog" Marcus ran like there was no tomorrow until he found Mendez sucking on his thumb in a horse trough, murmuring how "it now is rape to ride a horse". He walked into the house to see a horse wearing a cowboy's hat, he looked at the ODST's who were pointing there MA5B's at it, Marcus screamed "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU STICK A HAT ON A HORSE,WHY IS MENDEZ IN A TROUGH, AND WHY DO YOU SAY THAT HORSE CAN TALK!" "Because I can" replied the horse, "and I'm a pony" it adds.

Marcus remembers before he passes out his hand pulling his pistol out and trying to shoot himself in the head.

(elsewhere) CPT. Jackson was sitting in _the death machine_, his M808-MBT G2 which he had 267 kills in his name, waiting for the pelican to transport his armor forces to the AO the ODST's are supposed to have set up, but all he could get on the radio were ODST's screaming about talking ponies, which proves they when drunk as hell "into the tubes"..Or on LSD. Cole asked from _Cole train_ (his MBT) what the "pony-rant" the jumpers were screaming about was, as they neared their objective, they listened to the rants to piece them together. -

In canterlot, an angry brute was looking face to face with the princess, rage filled in his face, he screamed at her "I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT PEACE, I NEED TO AVENGE MY BROTHERS, AND KILL THE HUMANS!" but…the princess stuttered "NO, you give no help princess, to me, you are no more than an over-dressed dinner for my pack, I will ask the representatives from the races of ponies for their choices of alliance, in the mean time, take this "princess" out of my sleight, BUT, if you assholes eat her… well, you remember the time we landed in that place called "sesame street"?

one of the brutes turned around laughing and said "yeah, Romulus over here ate the one they called 'big bird' and everyone rioted and we had to glass the place after we ate the annoying red one named Elmo"- "SHUT UP" Basilius yelled "I DON'T WANT TO REMIND YOU WE LOST A DECENT SET OF AILLES THANKS TO YOU ASSHOLES!" the brutes shut up and in monotony said "yes, chieftain" Basilius turned around and addressed the representatives of the pony races "who will help our covenant?" he demanded a Pegasus stood up and yelled "we will turn the weather in your favor, Basilius!" a earth pony yelled "we'll think about it, ask tomorrow" and the unicorn just shrugged and left but before he left, he said "ask each unicorn yourself, we are 50/50" Basilius was mind-fucked, He just got trolled by a pony.

He turned around "VERY WELL, until the other ponies have chosen sides, we will arm the…uh…what are you guys called again? The Pegasus said "dipshit, the writer just writed the name out" Basilius countered "no, he wrote" the pony glared "fuck you, grammar Nazi"

In ponyville, over the covenant view screens, the ponies watched, dumbfounded until one pony named dun yelled "_DAMN, we just got our asses kicked_" most ponies agreed. pinkie pie yelled, I want to join the side has the parties!

A brute nearby asked "do public tortures count? We do lots of those."

the ponies ignored the brute and started watching the induction of Pegasus to the covenant "as of this moment, all Pegasus must go to stalliongrad to be trained for active duty, refusing to go is punishable by death" Basilius said on the broadcast.

Everyone looked at rainbow dash, who was hitting on twilight because Fluttershy was dead. Rainbow dash looked up "what? I gotta get some too." somepony said "get to stalliongrad before this brute eats you in a non-sexual way" the brute was pulling out dipping sauce at this point, smiling. Well, by twilight…want to give me a gift before I go (hint hint)" twilight said "I would love to let the brute eat you" rainbow glared "damnit" she uttered before she flew off to stalliongrad.

Yeah…the chapters are very short, indeed, but I doubt your brain will survive the mind-fuck long enough to notice, review and as always, give suggestions. –Blackburn


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: rainbow dash is a sex fiend, on the lines of quagmire. So don't be surprised. I hope you Enjoy this, and leave a review. And never drink I gallon of apple juice in one sitting, it will cause diarrhea….true story. –blackburn.

Chapter 3 shit got worse

"Ok, _pony" _Marcus said as he rubbed ice against his head, WTF is going on, if what you say is true, the brutes are trying to recruit _ponies _into the splinter group, and the jackals here ate your friend, and _24_ will have a remake in 2 months called _48_….frankly I'm calling major bullshit on the _24_ part.

but other than that, it's believable…if I'm going to get any of this to pass with command, I need to know your name. The pony held out a hoof and said "m' names applejack, partner, what's yours?" Marcus found his hand reaching for his pistol again, and mumbled _"command is sending me to a crazy house if I tell them this"._

Before Applejack could explain about all of Equestria, an explosion outside drew their attention. Marcus barked on the radio "WHAT IS GOING ON?" a voice on the radio yelled back "we got hostile armor! Oh, and some flying ponies with bruteshot. Nothing new, oh, and the yelling was because we found economy-sized peanut butter jars. " Marcus at this point replied "open fire on hostiles" the collapsed to the ground crying about the retards his squad was made of.

After the enemies left (2 giant red birds and a mighty eagle)(angry birds FTW), or got mind-fucked by this place, a drone of pelican transports and radio traffic filled there headsets, as the first tanks got deployed on the ground "ODST's, this is the 21ST armor unit, on station. I am CPT. Beers, and we are your big brother to keep you kids in line, are you ready to go, helljumpers?" As if by reflex, one of the ODST's yelled, "After we learn more about the ponies!" a laugh so loud went though the radio, one of the jumper's went deaf and called for E-VAC. After the laughter died down, the helljumpers showed the tankers applejack, upon realizing there were talking ponies, Cole commented how he will never be able to look at a horse ever again. Mendez was now running down the road with a saddle, calling it "horse bondage" and threatening to kill all the cowboys on earth. _Ah_, Marcus though, _well, besides that Mendez is insane now, we still have a war to finish. _ -

After the loaded up, the tank div and ODST unit was on the move, crushing the enemy strong points applejack told them about, and she was hell bent on liberating "ponyville" _whatever the hell that is _Marcus thought.

They tank unit had 10 MBTS, 2 flamethrower tanks, 3 APCS, and a combat engineer unit as well as a "black widow" tank-killer, which had a 147-mm rail gun on the scorpion chassis, an over-kill, Marcus thought. As they rolled up to ponyville, apple jack finished explaining the low-down "...and after they landed, they took over stalliongrad, and threatened the princess, and has, according to the message spike sent just before you arrived, they tried recruiting ponies to join them and as I said earlier that Pegasus ponies have joined the covenant, as well as some of the unicorns, so you should know that the town will most likely be filled with ponyfolk and those apes, and the apes will most likely try to kill the ponyfolk, so swat there hind's back to the cave they came from." Most of the marines and tankers still were in shock from talking ponies, and Mendez was smoking a joint to calm himself, muttering about horses, sex, and dead cowboys. -

As they neared ponyville, the brutes launched some wraiths and banshees to defend the town, and the helljumpers got off the tanks and hid as the tanks sped into battle, doing formations to charge into town, absolutely destroying the covvies. As infantry started going for a large house to shoot back at the tanks, the flamethrower tank drove up to a there cover and fired it's flamethrower, a graceful looking orange stream flew, hitting its target and incinerating the brutes and unfortunate ponies in the area, and the helljumpers looked in awed horror as flaming, screaming brutes and horses ran, until the succumbed to their fiery deaths as the tanks rolled into the town.

The normal MBTs open up with their MG's, turning anything in sight into bloody bits, The helljumpers then ran into the city, to make sure there weren't any brutes or grunts with FRG's waiting for the tanks, and applejack ran to a big house made in a tree in the town's center area. In the courtyard, ponies ran as the ODST's entered the square.

A rumbling behind a fence caught their attention as a pair of hunters smashed through and went to the center of the yard and opened fire, instantly killing half a dozen or more ODSTs, just as the hunters charged up another burst to kill the rest of them, over the radio they heard: COLE TRAIN BITCH! And suddenly in a badass way Cole's MBT burst into the square and ground up the hunters with its treads, splattering the square with gore.

HELL YEAH! Was the only thing Marcus could say, as he'd never seen a hunter get road killed before...By a tank, at least. Before they could look around, brutes and grunts ran out of the hole the hunter made, guns blazing. The ODSTs went to cover, but not before having a few of Marcus's men getting gutted by spiker's, their entrails lying on the multi-colored stones lining the ground

"OPEN FIRE, SHOW THESE BASTARDS WE MEAN BUSNIESS!" Marcus screamed, as the chatter of the MBT's 50-cal rang in the background. The ODST squads stepped from cover, MA5B's roaring as the aliens fell in bloody heaps, and the heavy cross-fire they had tore everything in front of them apart, until they heard the metallic _click _as the bolt on their guns went back and the collective clattering of spent mags and shells hitting the ground. All the aliens were in bloody chunks, with red and blue blood painting the canvas of the dead on their side of the courtyard, nil one wounded, bleeding out grunt, trying to crawl to cover. Marcus ran up, and lanced the grunt on his MA5's bayonet, splattering blood and bone on his face, as he turned and said "out-fucking standing, if we keep this up, the town will be ours in an hour, parker set up some MG'S, sanders set up the AT guns so we can get at least 3 angles of fire to keep wraiths out. The rest of you guys, find the cowards where ever they hide, MOVE OUT!" -

As rainbow dash landed in stalliongrad, it looked much different then she last remembered, as last time corpses weren't strewn about, and aliens with gun emplacements weren't on every nook and cranny, and broadcasts on TVs about how "Basilius is always right" as well as training for combat duty videos as the never were TVs here before, it wasn't a town _it was a fortress._

"YOU" a brute yelled as dash walked in the square, dash looked at him and said "huh? What do you want?" the brute replied "you need to get to the training and arming area to be acquainted on your new tools to fight the humans"

in confusion dash screamed "WHAT ARE HUMANS! I NEVER HEARD OF THEM, BUT YOU WANT THEM DEAD? SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAN TO ME WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT THEM!" The brute shifted his weight "well, humans are heretics that destroyed the holy rings, killed the holy hierarchs, and turned the bastardly elites on us, and also made the demon. Got it? If not, the grunt over there can explain in depth, after his translator starts up"

dash looked at the grunt, which was holding a purple box, with a small port on its sides the grunt talked into the box, and a strange voice came out "you gotta a purty mouth….let's see yah use it" both dash and the brute had WTF on their face, the brute asked the grunt "what did you say!" the grunt squeaked "hello, how are you" is all I said! the brute took the translator and looked at presets for words and under "human/terran/English" some of the presets they were: 1) can I get you a drink, baby 2) you got a purty mouth, let's see yah use it 3) I promise I got the rubbers….

The brute looked at the grunt, and the grunt instantly yelled "me found this in the captains room, along with more "grunt-y" things he call "recreation" and "interrogation" tools!, I just saw translator and took it. It had instruction, I follow, and that come out, it not my fault, please don't feed me to jackals!

The brute understood, almost cringing "fine, I will not feed you to the jackals, because the captain would feed me to them too, for knowing such…concerning oddities about him." The brute turned to dash "you go to the training area so we can outfit you to fight, they can explain there about humans." Dash nodded, but before she left she asked the grunt "so, do you really want to see my mouth in action?" the grunt said what everyone present and reading this story is thinking: WTF? Is Blackburn fucking crazy! -

After dash left the grunt's barracks, wiping her mouth off, she followed the signs stained with blood to "training barracks" where a pissed off grunt major wearing a cracked ODST helmet was screaming at the ponies to get there gear off the racks, dash looked at the rack and picked up a heavy device with 2 blades on it, and it was fixed to fit her hoof perfectly, as she also got some strange armor, which according to the grunt, was "very resilient, however will not stop death" also on the wall racks were large, stranger looking guns.

Upon asking about the guns, the grunt said "when we invaded the human homeworld, Basilius's pack stole plans of human weapons from a place called "GWL arms" and the guns were re-created to the exact copies of their plans, except the handles and triggers, modified for pony/covenant use, the large gray one is called "browning 1919 (7.62)" it is mostly for defense, as it is too heavy for flying ponies to use in flight the next one is a "SMAW A-T" it is for destroying human tanks, a "1918 browning automatic rifle" it was re-designed to be light weight so it can be fired when flying, another weapon is the "MP-5" it is the weapon we will issue you because of its low kick, and easy-to-control it combat areas. Be in the range in 5 minutes after you get accustomed to your armor the grunt commanded "if you aren't I will hunt you down and make you watch "Spiderman 3". You will get corrosive diarrhea from it. True story." -

In the target range the ponies took turns shooting off guns until they knew how to hit targets 100 feet away. A brute walked in and talked to the grunt, telling him "the type-2019 is ready" the grunt called all the ponies outside for tank training, as the lined up outside, the grunt began "you dirtbags are being trained for use of the type-2019 MD-T tank, so you can fight the humans with armor, all ponies must take this training, and those with high scores in competence for the tank will be signed up for permanent duty in tanks.

however as a liberty, you may name these types of tanks, starting…..NOW!" the ponies huddled up and whispered names, one pony stood up "KIGER MUSTANG" it sounds COOL! The grunt looked and stated "ok…..NOW GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES IN THE TANKS SO WE CAN TRAIN" as the day pasted by, rainbow crashed her tank 117 times, braking it's suspension, as well as destroying the CO's barracks and the grunt's bottle cap collection. The grunt major looked at her and almost cried "please, never EVER even look at the tanks ever again, get back in the range, you're a frontline trooper now". After dash left, the grunt held a burial for all 51,067 bottle caps (15 years of collecting) destroyed by a single fuel rod round, and he then plotted his avengement for his bottle caps "_she will pay, oh, yes indeed_" he angrily thought

Authors other note: the grunt plays a major part in the second half of the book, and his bottle caps will be avenged., as for you, how's bout' you review this chapter, and rest assured, there will be much more to come, I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors note: here is the chapter starting the beginning of COD references, as well as Stallionist ponies. Oh, and an old face from a call of duty returns…..you'll see…..enjoy.

Chapter 4 tanks, troopers, and talking ponies

"OK" Marcus started "so what you guys..."ponies" a random horse said. Marcus growled "OK, what you PONIES are telling us is the covenant is recruiting ponykind to fight us, and unicorns know magic, they kidnapped your princess, and all the cake is gone."

"Yes" the pony crowd replied. "And that the Pegasus ponies joined the covenant and a select number of unicorns did also". "Yes" they replied again. "And normal ponies want to help the UNSC fight the covenant as well as, again, a select few unicorns".

"Yes" they replied again. Marcus stopped, turned and asked "why? Why help us?" pinkie pie screamed "YOU HAVE PARTYS!" Cole looked at the pink pony, it looked higher that a stoner convention in California on 4/20. However, applejack stepped up and almost yelled "NO! It's not because of parties, it's because they killed Fluttershy! And we will have are revenge for her and the mother land Equestria! "URA!" the other ponies screamed.

All the UNSC personnel were uncomfortable now that they found Stallionist ponies (shitty pun. Ha-ha.) All right, who knows the most about magic? Marcus asked "because we need to be able to counter it if we want to succeed". All the ponies looked and said at the same time "twilight sparkle".

"NO NO, not a type of vodka, a person who knows magic!" Marcus stated. "But, that's the name of the unicorn that knows the most magic" applejack said. She lives in the tree library in the center of town, but ever since the covenant kidnapped celestia, she has hidden in her house, not steppin' out for anypony.

CPT. Beers stood up "I know how we can get her out; remember in training how we removed bunkers?" "You shittin' me?" Marcus said. (5 min. later) "ALL RIGHT, GET THE BLACK WIDOW IN POSITION" Marcus yelled. _The black widow _was a version was the M808-G2 with a 147-MM heavy ALIM-class gun and is a tank killer as well as bunker buster, and is used by tank battalions. Marcus couldn't believe that they were firing a multi-million dollar railgun at a tree.

"Spike, what is that loud noise outside? It is ruining my concentration." twilight whined. I don't know, I see aliens and ponies gathering, and a big black thing with a long trunk or something is moving and pointing at the house I don't know what-CRAAACK! An ear-splitting sound filled the air, as a large line of light busted into the library, right where spike was standing. In her daze she saw black-clad forms enter and pull her out, being dragged to a destination unknown, as her friends were watched her, and she then blacked out.

Rainbow had been trained as a fast-attack troop for hit-and-runs on enemy convoys, as well as recon, simply because the grunt major hated her, and would "rather be raped by cows" than have dash touch a tank ever again. She was told "hold the gun like this, and the bullets come out of that end" that was her training and the major added "if we get any plasma weapons in, we are going to ditch these human-designed weapons, they are much too heavy for you troops". Dash thought it was a lie because everypony in her brigade gabbed about "her plasma pistol or plasma rifle the major gave them" while she lugged a heavy hunk of metal, called a "BAR", she could barely fly because of it, and she was a told to be fast-recon?

She looked down at ponyville, command told her to ask the other ponies if they wanted to join, and she was ordered to do so, and command claimed "no was not an answer". She swooped and landed in the square, only to see major changes here too. There where guns like the "bar" and "1919" set up around the square, and tanks bigger than there Kiger mustangs parked in cover, all the ponies looked mad as hell, and a big hole was on the side of the library, _humans must have caused this_, she thought. She managed to talk to the mayor trying to see if they would help the covenant, but was quickly told "no, we are loyal to the protectors of Equestria, the humans".

Dash was mind-fucked, the command claimed the humans wanted to make dog food out of them, but the ponies claimed otherwise! She went to a café to have lunch after her visit with the mayor, to see what to do next. -

"Ok, we got this "twilight sparkle" out, so command told us to fix the hole in the tree now" Marcus ordered…it was ideas command made like this that caused so many deaths in the hmn-cvnt war. They had to get a drill and re-attach wood, and chunks of a dragon back together to make it seem like nothing happened. He found his hand reaching for his pistol to shoot himself again, as Mendez started talking about how he now had an urge to eat a pig, but he then made his hand pick up some super-glue to fix bits of dragon back together.

He had to bring a mythical creature back from the dead, and wield wood back in place on a tree, if it weren't for "master chief" earth would have been fucked with this kind of command.

Applejack was ecstatic that the humans would help them, and possibly arm them, but they needed a leader, someone who had seen many wars before this, and only one pony fit this description, he lived in the mountains, bordering ice ridge and everfree forest.

Applejack had been a friend to him for quite a while, when he was bitter over the loss of his friend, after he was killed in barklin after the fight with the diamond dogs, he was the only veteran that didn't kill himself. This pony was victor ridinoff, SGT. In the 3rd shock herd. As applejack walked past the everfree forest, she saw a smoking alien fighter, what the brutes called "banshees". It had been shot out of the sky, and crashed into the ground…it looked like it got hit by an explosive, as she neared ridinoff's home, dead grunts and destroyed covenant tanks littered the area, some still on fire, with half-dead drivers on the ground, squirming around, trying to get up to run for help.

She then caught sight of the "house" he had, it had a 20-foot fence topped with barbed wire, and had an MG port by the front door…it was very "inviting" for guests, which he clearly had lots of lately. She quietly snuck in the fence, noting a pair of eyes peeking out of a barred window, and then disappearing. She hadn't even knocked on the door before a gun was in her face and ridinoff was yelling "WHAT DO YOU WANT! SURRENDER OR MERCY NEGOTIONS? Well, if you came for mercy, go find a priest…."

Applejack simply replied "I took care of you, after the fall of barklin, and comforted you after the loss of Dmitri petrinko, I'm applejack, remember ridinoff? He lowered his gun, and looked up in thought, and he then yelled "YOUR MASON!" in shock.

Applejack then went on to explain more and more until he simply said "oh, you're that one pony. What do you want? Do you want me to tell war stories? Fuck up brainwashing? Preach lectures to unicorns?" "no," applejack started "we need you to lead ponies into battle against a menace worse than diamond dogs, against something that will have ponies fighting ponies, and 2 alien races fighting on the lands of mother Equestria, can you do that ridinoff?" she turned around "ridinoff? Where are you?" she looked around until a pony covered in weapons of all types walked in "yes, AJ, I am ready, to avenge all ponykind, for Dmitri, you, and…and somebody else...Give me a name, I can't think of any."

"Fluttershy" applejack stated. "uh, okay, and Fluttershy as well, all the enemy will perish….who are we fighting? Those aliens who were at my house yesterday? "Yes" was applejacks reply. "Very well, I AM victor ridinoff, and I will have MY REVENGE! IT WILL BE THEIR LAND, THEIR PONYS, AND THEIR BLOOD!" apple jack last remembered herself screaming "URA!"

Authors note: victor reznov was a god in cod history, so I figured I should add him for reasons that make sense only to me…he will play a major part. I swear it. Oh, spoiler: spike doesn't die. Just saying.'

Have fun and leave a review! –Blackburn


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-this is insane!

15 minutes after they glued the tree back together with an old batch of astroglide, the ODST's were trying to use a power tool to put the gibs of a purple dragon back together, as they casually made barney jokes and took turns preparing a lie to tell the "twilight sparkle" about her house and death of her pet, as their best idea was to use biofoam and a can of beef stew to paste the chunks, well, bits of the dragon back together, the sad part was command made that idea.

(elsewhere in ponyville) rainbow dash was running from a crowd of UNSC troopers, trying to explain she wasn't with the covenant (lie) as the marines were screaming "we request hammer down!, we got pony scouts!", she ran into the closest house she could, not caring who it belonged to.

The marines ran past the building, only they were now shooting at anything that moved, and screams both pony and human could be heard, primarily "WHAT THE FUCK, THAT WAS MY TORSO, I NEED MY TORSO!" as well as pistol shots. As dash slumped to the ground, panting, she looked up to see that rarity was packing her things up, and had stopped only for a second, asking to herself "I wonder if the darling covenant will issue me purple….such a lovely color indeed…" dash got up "what are you yakking about rarity?"

she turned "why, I am sorry, when did you get in dash? I thought you were in stalliongrad, training to force these dreadful humans out of here, oh well if you are hear, can you be a dear and get me to stalliongrad, so I can "join-up" as they say, with the covenant?" dash was mind-fucked, "rarity fighting? That would be like….not being a lesbian" she thought "oh, well if she wants to be bitched at by a grunt, she can" as she said that, she remembered the grunt mocking her in the barracks "THIS IS TROLLING!" she looked back at rarity "fine, I will help you sign off the best part of your life, to fight a war that I don't get at all. _Now that I think about it, she will do fine_.

"No, _sir_" Marcus started "none of my men ordered you to launch all the longswords, hammerheads, and pelican gunships to do "hammer down" on ponyville" after all, the thought "it was only one scout they saw near the edge of town, don't worry.." "IT WAS A SPY!" the admiral screamed, just then a MAC round slammed into the area the scout was last seen, in the small forest near the north side of town, screams as well as reports of shell-shock victims streamed though his headset "problem solved" the admiral simply replied "no spy". _Fuck my life _Marcus muttered.

(Elsewhere) (message to earth UNSC command) What, I don't read; I swore I heard you say "well, high command, Lawrence fired its 75 billon dollar rail-gun with 1 million dollar round into a _forest _And almost wiped out its own troops in danger close? Beers replied "Yeah, we aren't doing well, so we want 3 tons of morphine, beer, and clean hookers; there are no women on this planet. Only ponies, Cpt. Beers out. "Yes, sir I will…wait, did he say ponies?"

(Elsewhere again) "DAMNIT MENDEZ, STOP TELLING ME TO BOYCOTT DOGFOOD ON THE ACCOUNT IT HAS HORSE MEAT!" (Back to the story again :3)

(Back at ponyville) "Men, command isn't going to help us anymore, so we need to dig in, and prep for an attack, and then set up a command base on the ground. I will send our tanks there to the new LZ at once, do you all copy?" Marcus said. "SIR YES SIR" was the collective response. Marcus looked at them "ok, if you say SIR YES SIR….go AND FUCKING WORK!"

All the marines then saluted with the bird.

God damn, this chapter is short! I think I started at 3 AM, but not to worry, I will try to post 2 chapters in one day to make up for this. Well, you know the drill, review and tell me what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5 .2 -we got contact….and beers, so were good.

ALPHA BASE, time: CLASSIFIED year: FUCK YOU personal log, CPT., beers, Jackson (lead commander of 5th armor corp.) new entry:

_4 hours after we made landfall, Cole and myself discovered not a covenant colony, but a world of magical ponies, as well as covenant trying to sway them to join their cause and fight us…at first we thought the ODST's were crazy, until we met the ponies ourselves… they are all nice, really, but I don't trust them, they are TOO nice…. Though I wonder if they ever even fought a war, or even understand it's meaning….. Entry end_

"ALL RIGHT, MOUNT THE TANKS, WE ARE MOVING PEOPLE!" Beers ordered over COMLINK-(AD). Within 5 minutes all 50 tanks under his command were cruising to the new supply drop LZ they would make a command base, as well as a squadron base for the hawks, hornets, and falcons…._if only they could "lose" all the falcons…_Beers thought. Falcons were the biggest load of shit since…since…they removed co-ed showers and bunks?

He smirked, remembering the day that happened…57 million ODST's cried at once. And they were even more pissed that somehow, they used the money for maintaining co-ed environments to make the falcon…it made no sense, and they where lightly armed and armored, the hornet was superior in all ways.

He removed all thoughts about the falcon as they approached the LZ, near the new AO, and they were all stunned. Command had re-activated the orbital drop base mobile program which hadn't been used since the days of the harvest campaign, and _spirit of fire _incident, it was a muted olive drab, with other defenses around its perimeter, and squads of engineers digging trenches, and setting up bunkers strong enough to hold off a scarab assault, it was a thing of beauty. Cole, almost knowing what beers was feeling almost laughed out "you just jizzed in your pants over this base, didn't you?" it was at that moment, the only incident of friendly fire ever recorded between tanks, and Cole learned to keep quiet, in case if the medic's didn't get there in time the next time the cannon safety "broke" and shelled Coles tank.

About 5 minutes after they got inside the base, they were re-supplied and repaired, then briefed on the current state of battle:

OK, we have alpha base set up, the _Lawrence _has 3 squadrons of hammerhead gunships, and some pelicans, the longswords are still on patrol, but when they get back, we'll rule the sky! Until then, we hide our assets here, so our AA guns can take down banshees. Oh, let me show you your quarters, gentleman.

They walked about 2 blocks through the base, until they were shown there bunks, and it read:

Solid waste storage, but it was crossed out. In crude sharpie markings right below it read: tank pilot barracks.

"_Lovely"_ beers thought as he opened the room's door, only to fall to his knees by the horrible smell leaking out from the room "_this room'l kill me before the covvies do" _beers muttered as he sat down in his bed.

Marcus looked at the town called "ponyville" and sighed "_this place looks like some shit outta a fairy tale, only it's been fucked over by the covvies, then fortified by the UNSC" _he turned around only to see a very pissed pony walking up "you humans are a disgrace, you destroyed our town, put guns all over the place, and now are bothering fillies!" "Wait, what? Messing with fillies? We've been digging in for an assault all morning, and there isn't a marine for miles not working…_except one in the psycho ward….._MENDEZ! IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! ...all right, miss, what did this trooper do?

Well, she started "he chased down one filly, hogtied her and ran off, then he claimed the "end is neigh". Oh, and one human named "private sheen" tried to stop him by offering him "tiger's blood" and waving a big blade off the side of our town's hotel. The other trooper you call "Mendez" then threw a bag filled with white powder in his face, and "private sheen" started smelling it, then I came to tell you about this incident, and how barbaric humans are.

Yes, mam' I know we are, now where did he go, and who did he take? She looked up "I think he took…applebloom? "_Oh god, Mendez….not even killing you would stop this…he wouldn't…he couldn't—fuck it, he would." _So, just point where he went, and I will find him, after all, the covvies wouldn't attack right now anyway-CRACK- aw fuck, they would.

The radio was filled with all sorts of reports, and the covvies were now surrounding the town, moving in to kill them, and, of course, their tanks left town an hour ago.

"ALL RIGHT" Marcus screamed "OPEN FIRE ON HOSTILES, AND CALL FOR SOME AIR COVER, RIGHT NOW" "_yes sir! Right away"_ was the reply, but Marcus never acknowledged him, because at that moment in time, the wraiths started shelling the town, and prowlers sped into town, all guns blazing. ODST's were popping between cover, firing pistols, rockets, BR's…anything that they could find, because at the time, they were digging the trenches to hold off the covvies, and the ambush came at a "strange" time..to convenient for their own comfort..They landed less than 5 hours ago! However, he had no time to think, only time to kill as his MA5B came to life, roaring in anger.

(at the same time, in another part of ponyville)

"Dash, are you sure your dear friends will get here?" rarity whined "yes, I just called them they should be here soon I-CRACK-...There here now." Dash said

"OK, so when they come into town, we go to this waypoint for a ride, so we can get to stalliongrad, got it?" yes, but that's most dangerous sounding—""so you would rather stay in town and dodge bullets?" rarity's reply was her running to the waypoint."HEY, wait up!" dash yelled and they both left town.

(Back to Marcus) FUUCK! I NEED MORE AMMO, I CAN'T FIRE AT THEM WITHOUT AMMO! At that moment a private ran up "sir, message from alpha base, for you, sir" gimme that, Marcus ordered "yes, alpha base, this is waters, can you send aircraft? Wait..WHAT? do you want us to die? Please, JUST SEND HORNETS!"

(at alpha base) the SSgt walked up to his falcon, gunner version, and started its engines, and the wail of the song _fortunate son _came out of the speakers as it turned on, and also went into the hold of his falcon, which was modified to have doors on it, and he chuckled as he took off _I can't believe I'm doing this._

About 30 seconds from the AO for his attack, he heard sgt waters on the radio, and from the reports, they were getting there asses kicked. At that point, 10 seconds from target, he used his coms to tell the dozing private it the falcons' hold "_ok, open doors!" _and as he looked at the firestorm below him he yelled "LIGHT EM' UP!"

Waters looked up, seeing only a lone falcon, and at first he started crying about how he will die, but then he heard over his radio—LIGHT EM' UP!-and at that point, he ducked as 12.7 HE rounds from a MK2 Gatling gun on the falcon gunners right side opened fire on the covvies, tearing all who stood in its way apart. And this was the only time Marcus ever liked the falcon, though he still missed co-ed showers…

The SSgt laughed as he saw covvies running from the hail of bullets his gunner was spraying all over the aliens, and he could see them pop as they got blown to pieces by the gun. "Ok, stop shooting" he told his gunner "they got there 9 kills worth, were going home!"

(at the same time in stalliongrad, the grunt was on the firing range, and fired a rocket, but it miss-fired and streaked off into the distance "oh well" the grunt murmured "at least it's not my problem")

(back to the falcon) …yeah, this mission we survived! I'm going to propose to my girlfriend, and then..I'm retiring! Yeah it'll be great the SSgt continued –BLAM! A random rocket flew out of the clouds and hit the falcon, and it fell out of the sky in a smoking heap Marcus looked and chuckled as he opened up an economy sized peanut butter jar "well, I don't have to buy those pilots a beer!"

(elsewhere…WTF, how did that faggot shoot my chopper gunner down with a Stella FROM 100 MILES AWAY! YOU FUCKING MODDER, and, of course, final goddamn kill. FUCK BLACK OPS!)


	7. Chapter 7

Authors note: oh, shit...I don't think I put a note in the last mess of a chapter, did I?

Chapter 6 Mendez is a freak. He scares even the writer of this story.

"ALL RIGHT, MEN" Marcus started "we have a major problem, Mendez went nuts and abducted a pony, and as per a protocol I just made, we must find him and stop him from doing ANYTHING, oh and Ramirez! Did you find his psyche profile?" Ramirez said nothing, but handed the files to the sgt "nice work Ramirez, now let's see here:

_Private- Mendez, James_

_Joined 2566, signed on to 2__nd__ combat recon div, where he did just fine, except one account of attempting to fornicate an animal, was send to ward, and they fixed him up, and doctor reported that "he must avoid farm-type animals at all cost, or a re-lapse may occur"_

"oh, god" Marcus muttered, as he read on:

_After he got the silver star for valor under fire, he was moved to the elite 5__th__ inter-galactic semi-mechanized infantry task force, and currently is serving in OPERATION: TROLLING THUNDER, under command of: sgt, waters, Marcus. End of file (repeat?)_

"Mendez abducted a pony, and because the attack happened, we didn't have time to stop him, so we are going to his last known AO, and track him down, Men, in short, we need to find Mendez before he fucks a horse. Capschi?" Marcus unhappily ordered "move out men."

(near ponyville outskirts) "So, applejack" ridinoff started "how did you remember a relic like me? The war with the diamond dogs is almost a myth now!" applejack thought for a moment, then replied "well, I remember giving you aid after the final battle at barklin, and I truly was amazed, you are a warrior who only wants peace but has to kill to get it." Ridinoff looked slightly mad "STOP! The readers will think I am compassionate! NO, I am a heartless badass in public! Don't ruin me like treyarch did!"

applejack smiled "your secret is safe with me…anyway, I better lead you into town, you may get shot otherwise." (5 min's later) "I SAID I DON'T KNOW THE COUNTER SIGN! Yelled applejack as another bullet whizzed by her head.

"I SAID "STAR"! yelled the private. "LOOK, IM NOT A KILLER, I LIVE IN TOWN!" applejack lied "oh, ok…come on in" said the trooper. (35 seconds later) "and so, as I was saying, sgt Waters, victor ridinoff is our only living veteran of any war we ever had, and I want him to lead the ponies' army into battle." Applejack paused, looking at Marcus's stern expression "please? It will make your job much easier"

Marcus looked up and replied "oh, no applejack, it's not that, it's just that...one of my men, pvt. Mendez went AWOL after abducting a pony named applebloom, and we are preparing to hunt him down at this momen—"applejack flipped out "WHAT! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!" Marcus stood there; jaw hanging "about 10 minutes ago…" applejack almost broke the pavement "WE GOT TO GO FIND HER! I'LL GO RIGHT NOW AND SAVE HER-" "no" a calm voice replied "I will go find her, if the sgt will let me" applejack looked up.

Reznov walked from the shadows he was resting in "I know AJ helped me a long time ago and I shall repay her by getting back her sister back, I swear it." Marcus looked at reznov "very noble, but this trooper may be armed and you don't-" reznov reached into his rucksack and pulled out a CCSH-41 and a palominocheck-AT1 then replied "I have the tools, I just need the orders, comrade" Marcus nodded in approval "well then, shall we go, sgt reznov?"

(Meanwhile) "ha-ha, well, now I can force the UNSC to leave me and the ponies alone…I got a lever to throw into the works now, damn Mendez, I don't know if mama'd be proud, but who cares?" Mendez said to himself as he walked down the path leading to "manehatten" whilst hold a squirming pony in a bag "and, plus, I always liked animals better than people, people thought I was weird, but not anymore! They can't touch me now!" Mendez laughed "but, I should have gotten the one called "applejack"…I liked her; instead I got a runt…"

The pony stopped squirming for a second "hey…I'm not a runt! I just need to get my cutie mark!" "Ha, yeah sure, I—wait, what?" Mendez stopped "what's a cutie mark? I never heard of those." The pony replied "put me down, and I can tell you all about it" Mendez looked up for a moment "fine but don't try shit! Or I'll put so many bullets into you it won't be funny..." "I promise" the pony replied, "now first off, m' names applebloom, it's not much of a pleasure to meet you Mr. uh….Mr." he looked at her "Mendez…just call me Mendez, applebloom, now tell me what a cutie mark is."

(5 minutes later) "So…basically it's where a colorful patch appears on your butt?" Mendez replied, shocked how ponies would even manage that. "Yeah, sort of" applebloom replied

"aw, damn that was interesting, though." Mendez commented "really?" applebloom asked "not many people care about it…oh, Mendez? Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, shoot kid." "Why did you kidnap me? You aren't a bad guy, just a little screwy in the head!" applebloom said. Mendez truly though about it..he knew his first intentions were wrong, so he replied "I need..Help to complete my goals…I'll explain tomorrow, we need to set up camp, it's getting late." "uh, ok" she replied. And from that moment on, Mendez realized something he had never thought about, _I need to help them, not do my own agenda_.

(at that moment, in stalliongrad) "..And so, captain, she wanted to join the covenant, and wants to be in command of uniforms, Herr Captain" rainbow dash reported. The captain looked up, as if thinking..he broke the silence "very well…however, we also need her to use magic in combat, to help us succeed in battle! Uh, what can she do?" rainbow dash replied "she can find diamonds" the brute just stared "WELL, FUCK ME!" dash, upon hearing that, perked up, and the brute replied "NOT LITERALLY, JACKASS! However….if it is an offer later…"

at that moment the grunt major waddled in "yes cap'n, grunt reporting!" and saluted to him "good, it's good to see you, we have a recruit the this pony brought in..Train this unicorn in the waiting room on being in charge of supplies, at once!" the grunt nodded "yes sir!" and ran off, but not before glaring at dash.

Dash looked back at the captain, and asked "are there other jobs I can do? The brute turned around "yes, go find me some human prisoners, I want to try and brainwash one of them, as per Basilius's orders he made yesterday, so we can have a leader for propaganda as well as someone who will know there weaknesses, understand me?" dash nodded and did a "yes sir" and left the room at once, smiling at her accomplishment.

(not long before, near everfree forest) Marcus looked at his team: the pony sgt, his support gunner, a sniper, and some rifleman…it was the only way he could ignore the noise the APC made as it drove down the road, following the IFF of Mendez, under the hope of finding him before he did anything stupid, however, it showed he passed through everfree forest, and command made him return to base and wait until morning, when it was safer.

"what could possibly happen to us in a APC?" Marcus thought as they rolled back into ponyville, and impending doom fell over him as he saw AJ standing in front of the headquarters, a concerned look on her face.

Marcus looked at ridinoff "hey, can you distract AJ, so she doesn't kill me?" ridinoff smiled "yes, friend, I will calm her, and keep her busy…for now" Marcus sighed in relief "well, I live for another day…" and then he remembered something important: how was the dead dragon doing?

Marcus walked into the med bay, and looked in shock at how the medic actually re-built the dragon with astroglide, peanut butter, and beef stew from C-rations, however, he was in a coma, and being kept alive with a car battery…but he needed something to revive him completely.

The medic looked at Marcus "we need something to fix him, fast…he may die in an hour without help...Please find some, sarge."

Marcus remembered something his dad gave him a long time ago _it just may work _as Marcus ran to his bunk locker, and sure enough, at the very bottom, was an autographed copy of _lone wolf mcquade _and at the bottom of the DVD case, written in ink it read:

CHUCK NORRIS

Marcus then ran back to the med bay, and slapped the mess out of the dragon with the case, repeating, _the good chuck givth, and taketh away_ 50 times and then did quotes from the movie. Then, after that, Marcus and the medic waited, looking for a sign

About 5 minutes in, the medic said "_return of the dragon _was better", and then KRACCK! Lighting flashed out of the sky, going thought the roof, and where the lighting hit,

Stood a pissed-off Chuck Norris.

"who DARE enjoy the movie I die in!" he screamed, and at this point the medic started running, but chuck was 2 round-house's ahead of him, and the medic burst into flames and died from the impact of the kicks. "NOW", said chuck "WHO liked my only good movie, and has it autographed?" Marcus raised his hand.

Chuck stopped scowling, and then broke out laughing "my, a fan? I've been dead so long after I saved earth from the eggplant wizard and battle suit-Hitler I forgot what it was like to be adored by people!" Marcus smiled, knowing he wouldn't get his ass kicked and replied "yes, and frankly I LOVED _lone wolf mcquade _and this copy is a family heirloom!" Marcus said. Chuck nodded in approval "however, I know you want my help, or you wouldn't have called me, so what's the problem?"

Marcus pointed over to the dying dragon, who's vitals' were falling fast, and chuck walked over and rubbed his beard against the dragon, instantly healing all damage and regenerating all lost tissue in his body. And then he walked over to the medic, and healed him too, just because he was in a good mood.

After this all was done, chuck turned to Marcus and shook his hand "if you ever need my help ever again, just shout! Now, if you excuse me, I have a game of football with Mr. T and "tank" Dempsey I have to attend to. Then Chuck looked up and flew off into the 5th dimension again, at as he left, the dragon and medic started waking up. _Damn _Marcus thought _he's a badass as a ghost too. _

Authors note: I think you will find this to be the most random and crazy chapter yet, but don't worry, im barely a ¼ into the story….

Comment and review, like always


	8. Chapter 8

Authors note: Mendez is now becoming a more major part of the story. Oh, and his character (non-cameo) is in halo 3, on floodgate, as the crazed marine.

Chapter 7 to kill a bastard…or at least try.

"uggh, my aching' head…and stomach…I want some rocks to eat...Can you get me some, Twi? …Twi?" muttered the small, now awake dragon. _oh shit _was allMarcus could think off, and he was panicking, trying to think of a way to explain what happened, and as it woke, it immediately saw Marcus and asked "who are you? And where is twilight?"

_Oh shit _was all Marcus could think of again as it kept asking where twilight was, and truthfully, he didn't know…perhaps she was at alpha base? He was trying to concoct a lie of sorts, until the dragon took a good look at him "...Hey, you're one of those creatures, the ones with the magic that you used against the library! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH TWILIGHT!" at that moment he remembered his training:

"_Run, do not walk to the nearest exit_" and, frankly Marcus thought it was a very good idea, he just looked, and replied "bye-bye" and made a mad dash 20% faster than he normally did to the exit, as the dragon got up and started chasing him down the streets of ponyville.

After about 4 miles, Marcus managed to lose the very-pissed dragon, and he watched as it ran by the box he hid in, and he almost chuckled as it ranted on about him, and only after it was out of sight, did he step out of the box, and run to find twilight sparkle before the dragon did, and _oh wait, _before Mendez does something stupid as well.

"I was sure as hell not trained for this" Marcus muttered as he sprinted of to the square, where he found ridinoff and AJ, and ridinoff was still trying to keep her calm, but his efforts were losing power very quickly.

"YOU" AJ screamed as Marcus ran up "why aren't you getting my lil' sis back!" ridinoff looked at Marcus "I tried to tell her, but she isn't in a listening mood!"

"Its fine, ridinoff, I'll explain to her" Marcus said as he turned to AJ "look, command didn't want us to go through the everfree forest at night, we could get ambushed by the covvies, however, I overrule that order, and we are moving out in 3 minutes, while we are gone, find twilight sparkle and explain to her dragon that she's fine. Capschi?" AJ looked quizzically at Marcus, but nodded and replied "uh, sure...Just find applebloom!"

"Don't worry, we will" was Marcus's reply as he went to the motor pool, to find the APC and his squad. Marcus was relieved to see all the guys sitting, bitching about Mendez's low I.Q and zoophile-ism, and just as they started leaving, Marcus told them all "get into the APC, we are going on a "black-ops not-listed-as-a-mission" mission, so MOVE YOUR ASS!" all the ODST'S just high fived and jumped into the APC, and reznov said he would get on the dual 30.'s so the odsts just leaned back and chilled as the APC drove down the road

(Somewhere on the outskirts of manehatten) "…And so that's how I saved Christmas!" said Mendez "wow", said applebloom "I heard from another marine that Santa wore a red suit, not a leather bikers jacket!" Mendez looked at her "OK, so what next! You're going to say the North Pole isn't in south Texas at the _outback steakhouse_?" applebloom quickly replied "hey, I don't kidnap ponies!"

Mendez went silent the rest of the way to manehatten, but something weird was going on, he could smell burning, and he heard plasma rifles and browning HMG's in the heart off the city, and as he set foot in manehatten, he was shocked by the dead ponies laying everywhere, and saw brutes killing all earth pony's that resisted.

And at that moment in time, Mendez found his true calling: to protect ponies from harm, one dead brute at a time. Mendez turned to applebloom and said "hide in the outskirts of town; I'm going to save some ponies!" applebloom nodded and ran off as Mendez slapped a fresh mag into his rifle, and applebloom swore he was muttering "...And firepower makes it all complete!"

Mendez snuck into town, going from cover to cover, trying to find where all the ponies were being taken, until he saw in horror what would most likely happen to them: become food for the brutes, as the ponies got rounded up in a huge pen in the center of town, and another brute handing out dipping sauce to all the covvies in the zone

It was then and there Mendez went postal, as he came screaming out of cover, MA5' roaring and 7.62 MM bullets went ripping into unsuspecting brutes and jackals, as he walked in a straight line, killing all brutes in the way

After he marched though half of manehatten, killing the aliens without regard for his own safety, he ran dry out of ammo, so he sprinted up to the nearest brute, smacked it in its face so hard, he decapitated it, then grabbed it's spiker, and started kicking more ass while dual-wielding, john wu style, and if humans could get cutie marks, his would be a gutted brute.

(5 minutes later) _Mendez was chasing wraiths out of the city with a charged plasma pistol, jacking and destroying all tanks that fired on him, and little did he know, he just killed 45,000 covvies in 2 hours, and freed a city from becoming brute food. _

_But Then Mendez made a big mistake; he chased the tanks all the way to the stalliongrad outskirts, where rainbow dash was flying combat recon patrol 458, on a mission to capture prisoners for experiments…guess who she found?_

(at that current moment in time) "YOU FUCKERS CAN'T RUN FROM ME!" Mendez screamed as he chased the tanks down the road (meanwhile, 25,000 feet above Mendez) _"attention, rainbow dash, we have reports that a human trooper acting much like a SPARTAN-II is pursuing the last remaining units from our manehatten force is nearing your patrol route, and as per the grunt major's recommendations, he requests you to capture this Spartan before he attacks stalliongrad, over and out." _

Dash didn't reply on the com, she didn't know how to use it, anyway, but she instantly angled down, and did a dive-bombing run to see if she could find this "SPARTAN-2" before it got her killed by the grunt.

(On the ground at that time)Mendez stopped for a moment, and realized something: he had been running for 247 miles straight, and _he needed to take a piss._ But, before he could make it to the tree line in time to piss, he saw a rainbow, but he then remembered:

Rainbows don't fly straight toward him at mach 3.

The last thing Mendez remembered before impact was screaming "FUUUUUUUUU-" before WHACK, and he blacked out, and lost control of his bladder.

"Oh...SHIT!" was the last thing dash screamed as she ran right into a black-clad human, who also was freaking out at the time, and after she came to. She looked at this "monster that tore up there men"… and as she started bringing him to stalliongrad, and she wondered to herself:

_Is it bad I think he's cute?_

Authors note: Mendez is going to go through a lot, believe me. Guess what? DASH LIKES HIM! The only reason that happened was a reviewer suggested that….just give me ideas, and I can try to employ stuff.

Review and comment, like normal


	9. Chapter 9

Pre-note by author: some say I'm not focusing a lot on the UNSC, look here, after this chapter, a battle to re-take a city happens, I'm 1/3 done with the story, just, look if I focus a bunch on one person, it has a name: character development.

Chapter 8: numbers, voices, and peanut butter gas grenades.

"sgt waters" ridinoff said "Mendez's IFF is losing power, or being cloaked, because it's signal is fading, and the last location it shows is in manehatten before I lost track of it, I request we go there, sir" Marcus looked up "well, if it means we find applebloom, I guess it's a good idea, driver! Follow the road to manehatten, post-haste!"

The driver did a "yes sarge" and gunned the APC's motor, and at current speed, they would be in manehatten in 35 minutes.

(35 minutes later, in manehatten outskirts)

"Oh, damn…sarge, I smell dead stuff!" a trooper reported. Marcus looked up"...Yeh, oh god, you don't think Mendez went postal…? Do you?" ridinoff looked outside the APC "no, I think not, my friends, someone had attacked manehatten…did anyone in the UNSC protect it?" Marcus replied "no, only ponyville"

Ridinoff had a tear in his eye "then we may be too late, the aliens probably have killed all in town, like they did in the stalliongrad massacre…" but before he could continue he shouted "LOOK! IT'S APPLEBLOOM, ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"

The troopers disembarked and ran out "applebloom! Are you all right?" the small pony stopped and looked at them "yeah, and the ponyfolk too, if it weren't for Mendez...He saved us all!" all the troopers were dumbfounded "how did he _save you? _HE KIDNAPPED YOU!"

Applebloom smiled "well, at first he did, but after awhile, he started taking care of me, and when we were going to manehatten, he saw the brute's hurting the ponyfolk, and then he lost it, ran into town, and killed all the aliens! He kept chasing them, all the way to stalliongrad."

"Wait…so he HELPED you, not hurt you?" A random marine said "yes, I told you, didn't you believe me!" was applebloom's response. "Well" Marcus started "tell us on our way back to ponyville, we need to get your sister un-pissed at us."

Applebloom looked back in horror "what about Mendez! Are you leaving him?" Marcus replied in a lie "no, we just don't want to go to the enemy base to pick him up" in truth, Mendez could rot in hell at this point, in his opinion.

(1 hour later, in ponyville)

"…and we found your sister at manehatten outskirts, Mendez was no-where in site. Anyhow, did you find twilight, and have her dragon take a chill-pill?" applejack nodded "yep, she was in here house, and she wonders why it smells like Fluttershy's bed after rainbow dash did a sleep-over, and spike is throwing up potatoes and stew seasonings. You guys wouldn't happen to be the reason that—"

Every ODST in the zone all replied "NOPE...We had nothing to do with it." Applejack just shrugged "ok, sugarcube's, if you all say so…"

(In the library, 35-seconds later)

"Ms. Sparkle, sorry for causing so many problems to you, but we need your help badly, we need to get an idea what certain magic can do...Can you help us?" Marcus asked, as politely as he could. Twilight looked at them and smiled "of course, sgt waters, I can help, but I do have a...question to ask you." Marcus simply said "ok, shoot." Twilight almost blushed "I know you fixed the library up with lube…I just want to know what flavor it was… it gets me going"

At that point, Marcus ran outside and barfed on the ground "if you BLEHH –must know, it's HURGH- very cherry/ lime hard time flavor-HURGH, BLEHH..."

(later) "…ok, so they can maybe kill us using magic, so you gotta cast a spell on us tomorrow to nil the effects of magic on us?" twilight interrupted "after you give me the "very cherry" stuff" Marcus shuddered "ok, fine. Oh, and AJ wanted me to ask you, can you bring people/ponies back from the dead?" she thought for a moment "yes, but I don't have the power to do that, the princess may be able to, however…"

"However what!" Marcus said, or more liked screamed. "Well, she kinda is a prisoner in ether canterlot, or stalliongrad" and before she finished talking, Marcus was calling for airborne support for an assault at this very moment. as he finished, he simply said "well, FUCK the covvies, were taking BOTH places back!"

(In bunker zero, below stalliongrad) as Mendez started waking up, he heard "what is your name?" a voice asked, cold as ice.

Mendez, still stunned replied "I...Think I'm Mendez…or...Hitler…naw...I'm just Mendez"

The voice started laughing "man, brainwashing this queer I'll be easier than cliffhangers in halo 2!" Mendez started coughing "you son of a bitch, I fucking hated that cliffhanger" the voice stopped laughing for a second "hey, it was a fool-proof plan, fuck everybody over at the end of 2, so they buy halo 3!" the voice continued "well, if you are going to resist, it's time to torture you!, BRING HER IN! Goodbye, Mr. Mendez."

And then, in the center of the room, there stood a rainbow-colored Pegasus "hi! I'm rainbow das—"before she could finish her sentence Mendez went crazy "STAY BACK! YOU'RE NOT TURNING ME INTO ONE OF THOSE THINGS!" while waving around an M6 that he that he hid in various bodily cavities

"Wait, I'm not going to hurt you!" rainbow protested, as Mendez kept raving on "I COULD SEE IT, SLIMING AROUND UNDERNETH THERE SKIN, OF GOD! THE VOICES! B-but, yeah I did them a favor…maybe I should do a favor to myself…" dash didn't understand until she saw him put the pistol up to his head and heard him say to himself "…on earth, after the flood killed my squad, I should have done that favor to myself then…after the chief left…well, now's my chance…"

Just as his pistol was at his temple, and his finger started to pull down on the trigger, he closed his eyes, trying to forget all that happened.

"NO!" screamed dash as she knocked the pistol out of his hand and pinned him down by his chest "you will NOT kill yourself, it won't solve anything…happiness can make it better!"

Mendez looked at her, hatred filled his eyes "you think happiness could help ME! I've seen stuff that would fuck you up good for _life_, THAT'S WHY I AM THE WAY I AM! Back on earth, I was on leave, visiting my family who lived in voi…but then the flood ship crashed, and I saw, before my very eyes, all my family killed" rainbow dash stopped and just listened to him as he went on." and so I went back to the Lt and my squad, and they all were infected! God...I can still here their voices… and there was nothing I could do to help them…"

He looked back up "I somehow got out of there before the slip-lips glassed the flood infested area, and after I reported to high command, they put me on medical leave, and after they re-assigned me, I was in this battalion, to hunt down what is left of the covvies…"

Dash looked at him "I'm so sorry for you, can I help you in any way?"

Mendez almost slapped her "OH, WHAT! THEY SENT YOU IN HERE TO TWIST MY MIND! YOU WOULD KILL ME IF YOU HAD THE CHANCE, YA DAMN COVVIE! AND YOU WANT TO HELP ME! Why? So you can pick me apart? Turn me against humanity? Hmm? Speak up, covvie I await your answer."

Dash would have cried, but she held her tears back "I want to help you…_because I love you_" Mendez went from disgusted to just plain shocked "wait, WHAT!" dash began "you would have died from the wounds of me running into you at _terminal speed_, but I healed you with your bio-foam…the captain wanted you to bleed to death. Then, I requested you be put hear, so I could heal you and "turn you to a sleeper cell" but, that was so I could get some time to talk to you. Please don't hate me for it…"

Mendez looked at her very hard "why would you like me? I'm not even your species." Dash smiled and replied "I like the way you roll, fast and furious...Oh and I saw some of the "things" you had in your rucksack".

Mendez almost blushed "it's for massage therapy…i-I swear. As for the other thing…DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A COLONOSCAPY IS? "

Dash had a smirk on her face "yes, now _can I play doctor?"_ Mendez got the drift "sure…if you know what I mean…"

( person reading this: WTF, what is Blackburn's mental issue)

(Elsewhere, at alpha base)

"OK, PEOPLE, LOAD UP EVERY THING, WE ALL NEED TO GET READY TO INVADE!" sgt stacker began "MASTER GUN'S, GIVE THE ODST'S SHOTGUNS AND SPNKR'S, we expect close combat, and heavy armor, and your MA5's can't fit the role of AT and CAWS" the gunnery sgt nodded, and started raiding his supply lockers for the equipment. Stacker was pleased, everything for the liberation of canterlot was almost ready, and so he went to the command center, to see if the hammerheads and vultures and pelican tank transports were here yet.

This wasn't command's idea at all, it was the brainchild of one of his old drinking buddies, Marcus waters, and the assault would free there capitol of Equestria, freeing their leader, as well as lowering the brutes moral. Stacker looked at his watch another friend gave him, as he opened the lid of the gold timepiece, the words A.J JOHNSON engraved into the watch made a pang of sorrow go though his heart. He was truly was a noble man… a pity he died. But, he removed the thoughts from his head, and checked the time; it was accordingly 3 pm. _2 more hours until OPERATION: ROUNDHOUSE began_ stacker thought as he walked into the command room.

(back at ponyville, 1 hour until assault)

"ok, listen men…we are loading up to invade the covvie-occupied capitol of Equestria, called "canterlot" Marcus solemnly started "it is going to be heavily defended, and it is in a city of clouds, so twilight sparkle has to do a magic spell on our battalion before we can even set foot in the city, or we will fall to our deaths. We can't have tanks in this fight, unless sgt stacker at alpha base can get tank transports, and have sparkle do her magic on them…but what I don't like is, we have to fly in pelicans into enemy airspace covered with AA guns…then try to take the AA down before we bring in tanks, or reinforcements. Some of us will not make it back. Are you men ready?"

All the ODST's nodded "sir, well will give our lives to help you"

"And I as well" a voice said. It was ridinoff, and he continued 'I found some veterans from the my squad..Those who made it out of barklin in 45'…we will fight the bastards until they beg for mercy…which we will not give them" he said evilly. "can they go, sarge?" a marine asked. Marcus looked and nodded "yep, just follow my commands, and things will go fine. ALLRIGHT, MEN…LOCK AND LOAD! WERE MOVING OUT!"

And then, and there every ODST screamed "HOO-AHH!"

Authors note: the dash/Mendez thing was also a suggestion…it took me a lot of beer to put that in my story, I'm a brony, but…still I question my actions. Oh, I thank the 7/8 people who actually READ my story…it means a bunch to me, thanks guys! (You know who I'm talking to.)

As I always say, review and comment! Later, mates.


	10. Chapter 10

Authors note: I am now writing longer chapters, and trying not to rush, I want to focus on the UNSC more than other stuff, but somehow came back to talking about rainbow dash, well, I assure you, there is a battle this chapter.

Chapter 9 OPERATION: ROUNDHOUSE/ NUTCHECK 1 h-hour

All the ODST's were quietly sitting in the hold of the pelican, just listening to the hum of its engines while Marcus was looking over the plans and SAT-IM of canterlot…and they had sketchy Intel.

"OK, men, in 5 minutes, we will enter airspace of canterlot, and triple A will light us up, so we have a 25% percent chance we won't make it" Marcus began

"Then, after we land, we have to find what cover there is, and return fire…there is also a 25% chance you will die. We are now up to a 50/50 chance we will make it, and frankly, I don't like the odds…and they get much worse"

The men traded unhappy, nervous looks as they kept on listening "…and, then add up some more 25%'s because we have to enter a castle that's dug-in and fortified for heavy assault…boys, we may not make it out." Marcus felt his gut get sore as he knew he would lead good men to death today.

"_KZzzzzzz—sgt Marcus, we are 2 miles out from LZ, brace for flak, boys". _The pilot of their transport said over com-link. Marcus told the last order they needed:

"We also are trying to break the enemies morale with this assault, and free equestria's leader, princess celestia, so…yeah, stay alert, stay alive, gentleman." As he finished talking, the pelicans shook as they weaved enemy AA fire from FRG cannons, though some pilots just weren't that reflexive, as reports of losing pelicans were pouring into the coms. _The first 25% percent… _Marcus thought.

In what seemed like forever, the pilot screamed over com-link "okay…TOUCHDOWN! HIT IT MARINES, WE CAN'T SIT ALL DAY!" the ODST'S plied out of the back of the pelicans, sprinting for any available cover as a volley of plasma fire poured all over them.

In the first five minutes of combat, almost 50% percent of the ODST's were dead.

"COVERING FIRE!" screamed Marcus as they dashed cover to cover, trying to get to the brutes' firing position. The fighting died down as most of the grunts got killed…now only brutes were really left,

But that still wasn't good. They landed at a very open area, and the grunts had set up plasma turrets, so we got shredded as we landed, but now the brutes were backing up into town, and hiding in buildings, and holding us off. We had no more rockets, and wraiths were coming. Marcus just tried to get his men closer to the building to give some protection for his men, but at the rate he was going…they'd be dead in 30 minutes. Where was ridinoff's team?

(At ponyville h-hour+30)

"Ok, people, mount up!" stacker ordered as he got in the gunner seat of a pelican gunship, which also carried a scorpion tank in its rear. Stacker started his orders "we are going as fast as we can to canterlot, and ridinoff says his team took out the AA guns, so were clear, and lastly, Ms. Sparkle over here cast a magical spell so our tanks can drive on clouds! Ok, now that we are on the same page, MOVE OUT!"

(back at canterlot, in ridinoff's sector)

"_Cleave their heads from their shoulders!_" ridinoff screamed as he ripped a grunt's head off with his sickle. He turned to the only survivor from barklin in his unit, a private named Chernov who was injured horribly by a flamethrower, but somehow he survived.

Chernov laughed "you haven't lost your touch with the slaughter, have you ridinoff?" as they continued killing grunts. Ridinoff looked at him "no, I haven't lost my touch…but I see you finally got yours! You relish in the slaughter as well now!

Ridinoff remembered that day in barklin, when he complained to him "_Which do you think will lead us home? Writing about this war, or fighting it? No one will ever read this! If you lack the stomach to kill for your country, at least show me that you are willing to die for it!_" and die is almost what happened that day, now Chernov was a cold-blooded killer, and almost as good of a fighter as Dmitri.

Chernov simply said "they didn't show me mercy in barklin, so I will not show mercy to any foe of the motherland!" all the ponies screamed "URA!" as they set up a ambush to keep the tanks away from Marcus's men

(5 minutes later) "Ridinoff!" Chernov started "the coward's tanks come!" ridinoff stepped up to the window, Palaminocheck in hand "_Boil them in their steel coffins!" _he turned to his men and gave them an order that he gave many years ago "_Show courage! Show strength! Show pride! But show no mercy!" _ The response was "URA!"

As the tanks neared, ridinoff screamed_ "fire the Palaminocheck!"_ and as the rockets hit the wraiths ridinoff laughed and said _"Do svidaniya, Scum! Destroy them all!"_ after the tanks were destroyed or crippled, they escaped before the brutes tried to clear them out, as they moved on to assist Marcus's men on the front.

(Elsewhere, 25,000 feet up, 3 miles from LZ)

"ok people, prep to come out swinging' this may be a hot drop!" yelled stacker over the coms as the LZ got closer "ok, 5…4…3…2…1…HIT IT!" stacker screamed as all the pelicans did a 360 and dropped their tanks off, and after dropping the reinforcements off, flew to angels 10 to await CAS firemissons.

"OK, guys, the tankers haven't done much so far in this campaign, so let's get these bastards in the neck!" beers hollered over the COM, as they rolled into town, keeping an eye out for anything that moved…but almost everything had been taken apart by the DOST's.

They gunned their engines and sped toward the sound of MA5'S and plasma rifles going off, eager to get some kills.

(500 yards ahead of the tanks) "SHIT! We can't take a pounding like this, where is our armor! Where is ridinoff? The covvies are tearing us a new asshole!" Marcus screamed over COM, hoping anybody UNSC was listening, and just as the brutes started making it toward their position, he caught a glimpse of 2 things, one being a M808 rolling in from the south, the other being someponies armed with rockets and CCSH-41's taking out covvie MG's.

Marcus was relived; as he saw the tanks MG's turn the brutes into bloody ribbons, and ridinoff's men spraying gibs of covvie across the street as they got blasted away. _The tide turns very fast when you have friends _was Marcus's thought as he stood up and lead on last charge at the remaining enemies, and watching them run in fear.

"HA-HA-HA!" beers said in triumph as his armor tore the covenant line to shreds, while they were running back to the castle in the city center, _for a last stand _beers presumed.

As the last covvies ran or got smoked, Marcus regrouped all his men to do roll-call…it was saddening, he came with 250 men. He now had 63, and when you died, the "walk on clouds" spell ended, so for at least an hour, bodies were falling from the sky, both human and covenant. Ridinoff knew what Marcus was thinking, how if he maybe had done something different, or how that was the last time he would ever see them again, and Ridinoff knew and hated that feeling, and as he looked Chernov's way, he knew _and that will not happen under my watch again. _

(In the castle in the center of canterlot) "So…" Basilius began "I will go to stalliongrad, and oversee its reinforcement, I want every single person or pony that can hold a gun to defend this place, and if all else fails, kill the princess, and throw her body over the wall, for ALL to see, do you understand?" all the splinter group's men present nodded, there was no turning back, they were going to die today, in this castle. And as they readied for battle, they knew to fight until they were no-longer breathing.

(Meanwhile, 1 mile from castle, at the human spearhead) ridinoff stood up on a tank, and he gave some words of encouragement to the troops:

"_Today, we have lost many brave men, but their sacrifice is not in vain. Our tanks now form a line of steel so powerful that all covenant resistance will be crushed beneath its mighty treads. Today - we will watch as the control of canterlot by the covenant falls, along with all those foolish enough to stand in our way."_

The ODST's and ponies of the remnants of the 3rd shock herd cheered, they all knew, then and there nothing could stop them.

Marcus stood up "OK, you heard him, we can win this! Lock and load, and also call the pelicans in, we need to knock before we enter the castle! Someone get me a radio, I'll call them in myself!

(35 seconds later, radio message to gunships) "Repeat, this is sgt Marcus callsign: big papa penis, calling pelican task force 3, do you copy? The radio was silent, but a familiar voice came out after a second "sgt Marcus, this is sgt stacker, I'm in command of task force 3, callsign: granddaddy ball sack, what is your order, big papa penis? Marcus and the tanks were now in sight of the castle, and Marcus screamed into the radio:

"Granddaddy ball sack, this is big papa penis, REQUESTING WHITE DEATH ON CASTLE, DANGER CLOSE!"

"Roger big papa, ball sack on the way: ETA 1 minute, keep your heads down, it's gonna be messy"

(5 feet away) "Ridinoff!" Chernov said "how are we getting in the castle?" ridinoff smiled as he saw the gunships fly at the gate "_Brute Force Chernov! Brute Force!" _and he started laughing as the gate fell to a swarm of missiles, he screamed "CHARGE!" as the tanks sped up, into the castle, all guns blazing

"Granddaddy ball sack to big papa penis, did we hit the target?" Marcus was shooting at the aliens, but ducked and reported on the radio "yes, we are going in now, over."

"All right, were clean out of ammo, low on fuel as well…see you back at base, big papa! Stacker, out."

As the marines went from room to room, they met heavy resistant, and if it weren't for their flamethrowers, they would have been dead quite soon time ago, but after a grunt went suicide on him, we lost our flames thrower, and at least a dozen people.

"MARCUS!" ridinoff yelled "we found the dungeon, by there are 3 brutes with hammers holding the room, and they may kill the princess, what should we do?" Marcus ran up to the door and said "get some breaching charges on the door! Get me some shotgun ammo, and ridinoff, do short controlled bursts, no spraying SMG's in here, we may hit the princess."

As the charge was put on the door, he could feel his heart beating ultra fast, and the second the door got blown open, he let er' rip with his shotgun, gutting brutes, and shredding jackals, and ridinoff's CCSH was finishing of the wounded.

After they made sure every covvie was dead, they looked through the cells, until ridinoff found what they were looking for. "MARCUS!" ridinoff yelled "THE PRINCESS IS SAFE, I JUST LET HER OUT!"

As the princess walked out into the courtyard, where the marines were in dress-and-align formation, and all the ponies were kneeling, some crying in joy.

Celestia stopped and looked at these "humans"…the creatures that saved her, according to sgt ridinoff, and she walked up to the one that wore stripes of red on his armor, because he was most likely there leader and said the only thing she could think of:

"Thank you for saving me, and restoring me as ruler of Equestria, what is your name, human?" Marcus took his helmet off, and held his hand out "my name is sgt Marcus j waters, of the UNSC 5th in/div, ODST branch, it's a pleasure, miss."

The princess was impressed _I wish my other subjects were polite like this gentleman._

Authors note: this is now by far the longest I have ever spent writing…I don't want to disappoint my handful of fans (5 people) R&R, and tell me how you think I'm doing with the story

Oh, spoiler time! There will be multiple ending to this story, and I will have a sequel that follows 2 of them. And I'm also in the process of writing a long mutli-chapter story about my prize OC victor ridinoff and the battle of stalliongrad/ barklin , in case if you liked his persona/ reference.

Anyway, kudos to me, I have no job, no work and, because of MLP, no life. So I spend my life bodybuilding at the gym, writing about ponies and war, and playing XBL. I am very proud of this story.


	11. Chapter 11

Authors note: (me yesterday) huh, today's a gorgeous fuckin' day now wasn't I supposed to post something? (2 hours later) oh, hey my story, I'll post another chapter, chapter 10 to be precise! I—OH SHIT, MY CLAN (MLP) MEETS TODAY, shit TO THE XBOX! (17 hours later) HOW FUCKING LONG CAN A MATCH OF ASSAULT LAST! (Next day…) zzzzz….hey, WTF CAT, GET THE FUCK OFF MY FACE! (Throws) MEOW (splat) ah, shit, wasn't I supposed to, oh, that's right, I didn't post yesterday… TO THE PC! (batman theme plays) oh, shit…I should explain myself in and authors note…

AND NOW, ONE DAY LATER THAN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, BLACKBURN PRESENTS:

Chapter 10 loose ends…and ponies

(At stalliongrad, 2 hours after fall of covenant control of canterlot) Basilius was pissed off, his men couldn't hold the castle at canterlot, or execute the princess in time; he was running out of cards to play. "Bring the human prisoner and his agent in charge of his brainwashing" Basilius angrily growled to the bodyguard in his chamber. "Yes, my chieftain" the guard said, stature un-wavering, as he marched out of the room. _If I can seize control of this human's brain, I can make good use of him_. Basilius laughed evilly at this thought.

(Prisoner holding area 7) As the guard walked up to the torture chamber, he heard lots of screaming, but not of pain, and not human ether. "Rainbow dash, the chieftain requests to see you and your test subject, at once…and on that note what the hell are you doing!" the noise stopped "oh, uhhh, I'm just screaming in pain, I uhhh, dropped a big...Thing on my foot…let me wash my hoofs and mouth and I'll be right out!"

The brute guard cringed at how awkward that sounded, but he was also was wondering what big "thing" got dropped on her…foot. As dash walked out, she had a human tied up in plasma cuffs, and he had burn marks on his arm…and the zipper on his pants were broken as well, he couldn't believe this human destroyed so much, and was that useful to there project.

"my chieftain" the guard reported "I bring rainbow dash and the human to you, as ordered". Basilius looked at the guard "you may go, I need to talk…privately with them."

"Yes chieftain" was all that was said as the guard left. "Now, rainbow dash…" the chieftain began "so, this is the human that destroyed a good number of my men?" dash nodded "...And, so this human you are brainwashing?" dash nodded again "how far have you converted him?" dash simply replied "he is 20% more covenant than he was before..?"

The chieftain's smile went away "I KNOW YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP FOR THIS HUMAN, and that is something I can…and will have you killed for! I monitor your "torture" of him…and it's more "kinky shit" than "torture"!" dash started backing away, as the chieftain pulled his hammer out "I will have this human be used as a tool to kill the humans, but now, you are going to not be involved!" he turned to the human, who was glaring at him now.

"so, human scum, what is your unworthy name?" Mendez looked him right in the eye "fuck…off…covvie." Basilius raged and punched him so hard, he blacked out.

"NO!" screamed dash, as the chieftain started beating Mendez to a pulp, and she tackled him in the back.

"So…you would betray the divine right off the covenant for this scum?" Basilius lunged at dash "I WILL TEAR YOU TO BLOODY RIBBONS!" as dodged him several times, as she tried to head to the door, and on the last swing, he got his hammer stuck in the wall, and was trying to pull it out. Dash started fumbling with the lock, and just as the chieftain pulled his hammer from the wall, dash managed to break out of the room, and flew at max speed down the hall, the chieftains screaming in the background.

As dash flew out of stalliongrad, she started crying _I have doomed Mendez, because I couldn't keep my emotions to myself…he should have died in a fight, not being tortured by these murderers! _Dash landed in a tree, and started thinking about what to do.

_I will save him, he's the reason I still like males…_

(Meanwhile, in ponyville outskirts) "And, so princess, we freed your capitol, and are holding ponyville as a FOB…that's about it, now, who did you want to see again? Marcus said. The princess gracefully turned and replied "I request to see my pupil, twilight sparkle, and discuss what will happen for the rest of Equestria, thank you for your help, Marcus."

Ridinoff walked up to Marcus and said "ah, Marcus, you fight like a soviet! I need to buy you some vodka, to celebrate our victory over the convenat " Marcus looked at him "uh, thanks victor, but I don't drink—" (one hour later) "oh, man this vodka is great! Why is the ceiling spinning now? Man twilight is looking better every second, what do you think ridinoff?" Marcus said, as he was swaying around, trying to stay upright as the vodka went into his veins, and frankly, ridinoff was just as bad at this point "oh, yes, twilight looks very Nice, I will try my luck with her, see you tomorrow, mason—I mean Marcus"

(the next day) "Ohhh, SHIT! My FUCKING HEAD! AND WHY ARE MY NUTS ITCHY!" Marcus bitched as he woke up, he was checking himself over, making sure his wallet was still in his pocket, when he froze.

_Lying next to him in the bed was the princess_

"Oh, fuckpops." Marcus murmured as he grabbed his stuff and sprinted out of the room. In the parlor were the victory party was, it was a nightmare, ODST's drinking coffee, ponies with bloodshot eyes, and even the party host, pinky pie was having a hangover. As Marcus remembered his gun _with his name on it _was still upstairs, he ran back up there to see if he could get it before the princess woke, and as he sprinted down the hall, he ran into victor ridinoff, who was sneaking out of the bedroom next door to his, carrying his stuff as well, and Marcus caught a glimpse of twilight and applejack laying in his bed before he closed the door.

As ridinoff started to walk away, he caught sight of Marcus, and instantly perked up "AH, Marcus…how was your night? Did you get as lucky as me?" Marcus had multiple thought going through his head, so he split them out right there "oh, I got "lucky" but not with my own species! And why is AJ in your bed, I thought she was your best friend!" ridinoff looked at him and truthfully replied "I went into that room with twilight, and woke up with AJ mouthing my stallionhood! And I got out of there quick; I may have foal-support on my hands in 9 months! So, how did this "luck with wrong type" thing go? Who was it?

Marcus looked him in the eyes "I screwed the princess, I don't know how, but when I was drunk last night, it happened. I gotta get my gun outta my room before she wakes and see's it—"

"WHAT AM I DOING HERE! Wha—MARCUS!"

Ridinoff looked at him "she saw it." And he added "run."

Marcus did as he was told… after all, he was just a trooper.

Ridinoff just sat there, still trying to comprehend what happened, as the princess stormed out into the hall "RIDINOFF! Where is Marcus, we need to talk." Ridinoff tried to act sick "I don't know, princess, I saw him leave, all panicky and stuff, about 2 hours ago…haven't seen him since—OH, where's a garbage can, stay down, vodka!" and he ran off.

_Odd, he's hiding something _the princess though as she checked the room next door to Marcus's, and was semi-shocked to see twilight and applejack laying in bed together, but it made sense after she saw ridinoff's hat lying on the desk _stallions will be stallions _she thought as she walked off.

(About 1 mile from ponyville) "DAMIT, RUN FASTER, MATE!" Marcus yelled to himself as he ran down the road, eager to avoid the princess from killing him, but then he heard—KRACCCK!-

_What the hell? Are there longswords on low-alt patrols today? I swore I heard a sonic boom, I—_Marcus then saw a rainbow streak cross the horizon, and it was going level to the road, at very high speeds, however, the biggest problem? IT WAS COMING RIGHT AT HIM.

The last thing he remembered was _I'm reporting him to my CO after this i-_WHACK!

When he woke up, he saw a rainbow colored Pegasus, and he started reaching for his pistol, but then he saw the another pony looking at him, and managed saying "p-princess celestia! What a surprise!"

Back at town, the men were saluting Marcus as he walked into town, as well as trying to stand up straight. the princess lead him into the library, and Marcus saw ridinoff, applejack and twilight there as well _so, we can all get executed by the princess at the same time. _Marcus dreaded.

The princess stepped to the center of the room "you all know why you are here, so we don't have to be awkward about it, last night was a mistake, ridinoff drank too much, Marcus drank too much, and I was just plain curious, I'm sorry if I hurt or offended you, Marcus".

Everyone's jaws dropped "wait" Marcus began "YOU hit on ME?" celestia blushed "yes, I did… I wondered what humans could do; after all, you are heavy-hitters in a fight, so I wondered if those ethics went elsewhere as well… "

Celestia turned to rainbow dash, who was behind her this entire time "now, dash, what you were saying?" dash, with a tear in her eye said "I want to help get my lover, pvt. Mendez, of the UNSC, back to me, he is in stalliongrad, will you help me?"

Everyone's jaw went through the floor at that point, and Marcus almost yelled "YOU JOINED THE COVVIES! AND YOU LIKE A GUY FROM THE UNSC?"

"Well, kinda…he likes me too, and we "got lucky" as ridinoff says" little did dash know, she just dropped a bomb, and all the cake was gone.

Authors note: I don't think this was the best chapter at all, I know I could have done better, but I can't dumb today, I brained my stab. R&R, good sirs

Oh, now where is Princess Luna? Only celestia knows.


	12. Chapter 12

Authors note: I give major thanks to all my reviewers, as you few loyal mates give me a reason lose my mental health and well being, which I will now honor all of you:

robbytherouge, thanks for the useful reviews.

Randomhooves, thanks for telling me to space paragraphs, that was a major help.

Doctorhooves, for just being a badass who thinks like me.

And last, but not least, psykoticaddiction, for liking a parody about ponies even though he fucking hates ponies

Enjoy!

Chapter 11 WTF Blackburn!

(Radio message to command) "..Yes sir, we need more men…no sir, I am not a incompetent fuck, sir, we just were only fighting in a city made of clouds, and being outnumbered 1-279, and yes, we had pony troopers backing us up, we just need 50 new tanks, 200 more men, ODST preferably, and the codes to authorize use of the vultures and hammerheads, and I also request you send us the frigate _uncle Sam _for fire support to keep flak and AA off of our air units, can this happen command…,"

"…huh, yes sir, you can date my girlfriend, and post pictures of me playing DDR wearing a thong on YouTube, and you'll send us 50 ODST's, 10 tanks, and let us use hammerheads and vultures, yes sir! Marcus out! "

As Marcus put down the radio unit, he swung his foot into the wall of the building, smashing a hole into the wall "WHAT THE FUCK IS COMMAND THINKING! WE ARE LOSING MEN SO FAST, ITS NOT FUNNY, WE HAVE 69 ODST'S AND 44 TANKS!" Marcus started crying "I am leading these men to death; we are outnumbered, running low on ammo, and have 1/3 of the men we came with! This is killing me…"

Ridinoff put his hoof on Marcus's shoulder "don't worry, comrade, the let you have access to more units…on that note, what are hammerheads and vultures?"

Marcus stopped his sobbing, and walked over to his TAC-COMP mk3 that command issued him, and brought up 2 images, one looking like a pelican, but with 2 engines on each wing, and a large Gatling gun below the cockpit, and 4 huge rocket pods near the cockpit, as well.

"this, is a hammerhead" Marcus said "it has a 30 MM cannon similar to a cannon mounted on an old aircraft from the late 20th century, called an A-10, and the hammerhead also has MK2 hornet missile pods, which, are super-effective against tanks, aircraft, and structures. It has ultra-heavy armor, and is a heavy-gunship…they can turn tides of battles"

Ridinoff nodded in awe, as Marcus pointed to the next image, which was much more menacing, it was a huge ship, almost twice the size of a hammer head, it had guns and rocket pods all over it

"now THIS," Marcus proudly said "THIS, is the vulture, it was a program that was canceled after the events of harvest, because they cost too damn much, but now that our economy is going well, the program was re-activated, it has four 130-MM HE/AT/AS cannons, with auto-reloaders, giving it the ability to fire 50 rounds a minute, and it can kill a battalion of wraiths in a few seconds…"

Ridinoff's jaw dropped as Marcus kept going "NOW, over here, we have some heavy-barrage silos, for suppressing large areas with rockets, and that's very simple to talk about, and, because command doesn't want fighters taking this big, bad baby out, it has a type-77 (50)-MM point-defense AA gun, and a array of SAM/ AA missile launchers on it back, and the only real draw-back is it's fuckin slow."

Ridinoff but in "IF these units are so good, why are you still concerned? " Marcus had a grim look on his face "we have no Intel on enemy positions, numbers or defenses in stalliongrad, and the vulture has only been tested, not used in combat…this will be the first time in 40 years the vulture would take flight..And on that note, I don't even have a listed amount of how many of the damn things, hammerheads OR vultures, that we have! THAT'S WHY I'M NEVOUS!"

Ridinoff looked down, trying not to smile, and that's when Marcus raged "WHAT IS SO DAMN FUNNY?" ridinoff looked up "sorry, Marcus, I was just laughing at how you never considered asking celestia to do some magic to help you guys out or anything…but I digress"

Marcus looked at him "that's the stupidest idea ever, ridinoff, ODST's don't need help!"

(5 minutes later) "And, see, can you make the ODST's really tough, make them invincible as far I'm concerned! Can you do this, princess?" Marcus begged as ridinoff stood outside the library window, laughing at the sight of Marcus begging.

"oh course, Marcus, I would be glad to aid you with magic so you can retake stalliongrad" the princess said "after all, a creature that can keep an erection for more than 5 hours is very str—" Marcus screamed "STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT NIGHT! IT WAS A MISTAKE!"

The princess smiled, in a trollish way "you seemed very…willing that night, and hey, you were hitting on me after 1 AM…and as I said, I was curious…"

"STOP!" Marcus screamed "just…just never EVER talk about this with anyone, and just do the spells to my men, and FYI I was drunk on vodka that night." The princess started walking to the door "whatever, but you were going at it pretty good-" and the second she left, he slammed the door

"god-damn communists…" he mumbled as he sat down, planning out his new battle plans, nothing could make his day good or bad at this point…"HEY, SARGE! COMMAND IS ON THE RADIO!" the radio tech shouted

"Things got worse" Marcus mumbled as he picked up the radio "yes, command? Wait, what? You can't be serious? IM A CAPTAIN NOW? Why? Because you're tired of me passing all my shit past you? I can now do what I want, 100%? I can? Ok, then FUCK YOU COMMAND I'M GOING TO USE NUKES! Sgt, no wait… CAPTAIN WATERS OUT MOTHERFUCKER!" the radio tech was wide-eyed as he had the radio handed back to him.

"Oh, tech, set me up to base-com, everyone needs to hear this. "Yes, cap'n" the tech said "ok, you're live!"

Marcus cleared his throat "attention, all personal of the 5th intergalactic semi-mechanized ODST battalion, I am very pleased to announce MY promotion to captain…this means we don't have to take commands bullshit anymore, I can use whatever assets I want…stalliongrad will either be ours or a smoking crater in 48 hours. Captain waters, out."

(At that time in stalliongrad) Mendez was groggy, and his bodies-and mind-were on fire, he didn't know where he was, he could see his own blood on the corner of this vision, and a grunt wearing human gear with a cattle prod was standing there, tapping his foot.

As Mendez started to look around, the grunt looked up to a window and reported "the human is awake, should we continue to shock him and brainwash him, or just cut his head open and implant instructions in his head? The voice that replied really didn't give a fuck "uh, yeah, sure…dude, you need to smell this white powder this human had in his backpack!"

The grunt started smiling "well, I'll get ready for surgery then!" and turned around, hitting Mendez in the face, and knocking him out cold.

As the grunt walked into the tech room, preparing the humans instructions they were going to implant, he added a new line of script after the listing of killing all the humans once they attack stalliongrad, the order was very simple, and straight forward:

KILL RAINBOW DASH

The grunt chuckled as he confirmed the adding of the order, and then sitting back as the grunt surgeons dragged the human in, and started the operation.

(later) Mendez woke up again, only his head felt like it was going to explode, and as he got up, he realized something: he was outside of manehatten, and he had no memory of even being tortured, and the first thing he could think of was: _the fuck's applebloom? _

Mendez looked all over the place, and gave up after 2 hours, but only because of one thing:

_I gotta find rainbow dash…to, kill her? Or to…no, that can't be right, why would I want to kill her? I love her!_

"Huh, well, I should get to ponyville, god knows how long I've been AWOL, and the sarge I'll chew my ass out…"

(Back at stalliongrad) The grunt stood back, chuckling...now he would get to get revenge on dash for her incompetence, and what is a better way to flush her out than send her…boyfriend? And now, for phase 2 of my plan…

The grunt had cleared a tank offensive with the pony battalion "Kiger mustang" unit, and the supreme chieftain gave the OK for this assault, and the grunt knew this mission would succeed.

(Meanwhile, at the tank motor pool) "All right, ponies, mount up, and get ready to give those heretics hell!" the CO yelled, as everypony scrambled into their tanks, eager to take the humans on. As the CO sat down in his tank, and took lead of his units, he overviewed the attack: drive into ponyville, and tear them a new asshole.

(At Mendez's location, near ponyville) "Shit…I should have pissed on that sleeping mantacore back in the forest…now I gotta piss, and there isn't even a tree around, I OH HELL YEAH, PONYVILLE IS IN SIGHT! TRASH CAN HERE I COME! (30 seconds later, and the MG nest overlooking the road) "Uh, dude? Is that Mendez?" a ODST looked through his binoculars "yep…lemme call the cap'n…and, dude, don't fucking shoot him."

(5 minutes later) "Ok, Mendez is running into the square, get ready for anything!" Marcus ordered, and just as he said that, they saw Mendez run into the square, pull his zipper down, and let er' rip in a trash can he glanced at them "hey sarge! Sorry I was gone, I was doing, uhhh…uhhh..recon work?

Marcus face palmed "Mendez, after you stop pissing in a TRASH CAN, come with me, we gotta talk.

Authors note: the grunt that hates rainbow dash reappears! (The grunt has many names: the badass grunt, grunt major, grunt commander, the grunt.) and Mendez gets the short end of the stick, well, mates R&R! oh, and don't worry, Fluttershy is going to return, in maybe the next few chapters (but, no promises), now excuse me, I need to kill my cat and get it off of my bed, I have no love for cat hairs.

-Michael T Blackburn


	13. Chapter 13

Authors note: I am working on 2 other stories at this time, some I work a chapter a day on this story, a chapter a day on the battle of barklin, and am currently finishing prep for my book about black mesa from HL….oh, and all my stories I am working on involve ponies. I spent most of my day typing. Then I go to the gym.

Chapter 12- level playing field

(at ponyville, 5 minutes after contact with Mendez) "DAMMIT, MENDEZ…WHERE WERE YOU FOR THE PAST 3 DAYS!" Marcus yelled at Mendez, who was tied down in a chair "GAH, I …CAN'T REMEMBER, ALL I KNOW IS I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! I just don't remember what…" Mendez stopped fighting "they did shit to me; the covvies, and then they just let me go…now I have the urge to go do something I can't remember! God, help me sarg—I mean, cap'n"

Marcus looked at the tech using the lie detector "is this true?" the tech looked at him "yep, all of it is, but it didn't take a machine to realize Mendez was crazy-talking" Marcus looked hard at Mendez "then..i guess he gets put back into active duty, gear up Mendez...And welcome (shudder) home."

(Meanwhile, at the library) "Rainbow dash, what has gotten into your head lately?" twilight said quizzically to rainbow dash, who had been gone for a week to fight for the covenant, then she came back to fight for the UNSC

"well, nothing much, at least more than usual." Was rainbow's answer as she finished cleaning herself

"Ummm, dash...First you go to fight an in army, then we here about you and a human did stuff, now you're TAKING CARE OF HYGENE! For who? Who is this person you go so much for?" twilight questioned. Dash walked up to the window, and pointed to an ODST with a rag tied around his head.

He was bruised and bloodied, and on the side of his oval chest plate the word: MENDEZ was spelled out, and he had a kind of limp or stumble into the way he walked. Twilight's face lit up in shock "dash, that guy is considered mental by the captain—"

dash looked at her, anger filling her face "WHAT DOES THE CAPTAIN KNOW! DOES HE KNOW THE PAIN MENDEZ WENT THOUGH? So what, Mendez likes horses to a freaky extend, but hey, I like him, and I can relate to him to an extend…" twilight put her hoof on dash's shoulder "look, but it's not natural…"

Dash screamed "SO! I fucking know what you did with spike way back when, and that was nasty, and OH WAIT, NOT NATURAL! " twilight blushed "b-but, it was just a massage, I swear!" dash then said "OH, and guess what! Big Mac can't even hold a candle to Mendez, and Mendez can actually talk not fucking "eeyup" to everything! Oh, and Mendez also can do what Big Mac can't: keep a hard-on for 2 hours!

Twilight said "really? I need to…uhh, study up on that...with a field test with him…" she blushed as dash started nodding "yeah, sure…well, then lemme the results of our test: first we started frenching…"

(Meanwhile, at the 1 mile check point, outside ponyville) "dude, jerry, after this shift on guard duty, you wanna grab a beer?" the other ODST nodded and went back to sleep. After about five minutes, they heard rumbling in the distance, and the ODST's jumped and ran to the MG, the other got his M41 and ducked behind the sandbags "WTF is that sound..oh, shit those rabbits may be coming back"

However, little did they know, it was worse than that.

(back at ponyville, in Marcus's command center) " hey, cap'n, a urgent call is coming in from OP-1" a radio-op said, and Marcus lazily picked up the radio "yes, this is captain Marcus, go ahead OP-1." The radio crackled, and gun fire was in the background "OH, THANK god, cap'n we got armor, of unknown origin or faction attacking us, and we are low on ammo, and there are too many of them, and get some defenses set up at ponyville, they're going to be on top of us in less than- SHIT, DUCK!—KZzzzzzz" the radio-op looked at Marcus "we lost the signal"

Marcus turned to him "the town goes to code red, DEFCON-1 RIGHT NOW!" the OP nodded and punched some numbers into a keypad, and a siren wailed, all the ODST's in town got to their defensive positions, and bunkered down for an unknown enemy

"CAP'N! I GOT SIGHT OF UNKNOWN OPPOSING FORCE(S)! IT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF TANK UNIT, BASED OFF OF HUMAN DESIGN!" an ODST reported.

Marcus looked through his BR's A-2 scope. It was painted in jungle/urban camo, and each tank had a number on the side of it, it was similar in design to old-era Russian T-34 tanks, that are still used by freedom fighters even today, and it also looked liked a NOD avenger tank, used by terrorist groups back in 2520, but whatever or whoever these tanks belonged to, they knew it was going to be one hell of a fight to keep them back. Marcus just figured he would call these things avenger tanks, and called it a day

As Marcus picked up his M41, he saw the scorpion tanks hiding in chokepoint to ambush the avengers, while the other scorpions went around the town so they could flank them, and over his head set he heard Capt. Beers growl "_lets' get em' in the neck!"_

(200 Yards away from ponyville) the CO laughed, the humans at the roadblock didn't even stop them, and they took no losses.

He said "the humans are going to be kicked of our planet in less than an hour, they didn't even set up defenses in the town! Full speeds ahead, let's kick em' while there down! As the CO lead the charge, he failed to notice the metal discs in the road ahead, until at the last second he thought _who would leave a Frisbee on the road? _And then it hit him, and he yelled "STOP THE TANK! THERES MINES—" and that was the last thing he ever said as his tank became a fireball from the "bastard" AT mines the humans laid out.

(back at the humans defenses) "HEY, CAP'N! THE ENEMY TANKS HIT THE BASTARD MINES!, THERE SLOWED DOWN, BUT STILL COMING!" Marcus now stood up with his M41 "ok, anyone with rockets, OPEN FIRE!" at least 20 ODST' s stood up and unloaded there spankers at the incoming tanks, and as rockets arched gracefully through the air, and destroyed nearly half of the enemy tanks.

"SIR, THERE BUGGING OUT!" a sniper yelled , and Marcus got in touch with the tankers "chase those tanks down, I want no survivors!" Capt. Beers' reply was an evil laugh, and all his tanks rolling after the enemy.

(5 minutes later) "and over 300 tanks attacked us, but the drivers had shitty training, and we managed to disable one of these tanks, and discovered it is commanded by covenant trained ponies..They were just kids, sir" Marcus looked at the smoldering tanks, and a charred body hanging over the commander cupola, and he knew they were doing as they were told, _but it was them or us_ Marcus thought as the engineer tanks pushed the husks of the tanks off the road, and into a nearby pond.

An ODST tapped on his friends shoulder "dude, is Marcus crying?" the ODST looked at him "naw, why would he do that?"

As Marcus walked back into town, he needed to see Mendez, this attack came about the same time he came back, and he didn't believe in irony. As Marcus walked into the room where Mendez said he would bunk out, he almost threw up. Mendez was having a make-out session with rainbow dash (BAD MENTAL IMAGE, I COULDN'T BELIVE I ADDED THAT –Blackburn)

Marcus ran to the nearest garbage can and unloaded his stomach. _Today couldn't get any worse, could it? _He thought. At that point, a radio-op ran in "cap'n, the princess requests to see you at the hotel on the other side of the street, to discuss "battle tactics" of humans". Marcus just started crying _why does life hate me? I want to be back home, in mesquite, eating steaks and drinking mountain dew…_

Marcus stood up and walked what he figured would be the last day he had respect for himself.

Authors note: this chapter is here to explain 1 thing: things are getting out of hand for Marcus, and Mendez is having mental issues that will appear next chapter…you remember what he was programmed to do. R&R, and also, now I have allowed anon. comments so people who don't want to admit they like stories about ponies can comment on this.

Later mates –Blackburn


	14. Chapter 14

Authors note: Fluttershy returns! And she is innocent, yet just as bad as rainbow dash! Oh, and brace yourself, a fuck-ton of stuff happens.

Chapter 13 the rogue element

(11:00 pm, ponyville, Mendez's quarters) __ "NO!" screamed Mendez as he woke up from..not even what he could call a dream..Just a loop-over of audio...Telling him to kill everyone…just voices...

Mendez looked around, he must have been walking in his sleep, because the place was torn up, but the scariest part, a bowie knife was dug into the picture of rainbow dash, and a M6 lay on the desk, and he swore there was blood on it.

Mendez started running, he didn't know where he was going, he just needed to leave…something wasn't right with him, as he got out of the building, he started stumbling out into the street, a ODST MP ran up to him "YO! MENDEZ WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Mendez remembered looking at him, and blacking out.

(10 AM, the next day) Mendez was starting to wake up, and before his eyes were even open, the heard at least 7 shotguns rack at the same time, and when his eyes opened, he found himself tied to a table, with ODST MP's filling the room, and near the entrance of the door, stood rainbow dash, Marcus, and a pony wearing a vaguely Russian outfit, and all of them having a concerned look on their face.

Mendez knew he fucked up good "hi, cappy how are? …Ok, let's cut to the chase, how bad did I fuck up?" Marcus looked at the MP's, they knew what he was saying, so they left. Marcus turned and looked at Mendez "I have no idea what the hell you were thinking yesterday, you injured 10 MP's, and shot up the town with an M6. That's all we know…as per requests by rainbow dash, and because my friend ridinoff may have an idea what happened, we want you to tell your side of the story" Mendez repeated everything he remembered, and they all had an idea of what happened.

Rainbow dash started crying "those bastards did mess up his brain" ridinoff commented "I remember…the diamond dogs tried brainwashing USSR troops to use as spies…Mendez may have been a victim of covenant attempts "

Marcus then asked "how do they brainwash people?" ridinoff scratched his beard with a hoof "well, they would A) implant instructions via surgery or B) brainwash him by using propaganda…the only flaw with plan B is it takes a few months to manually brainwash somepony."

Marcus looked at Mendez "then most likely, it was the implanted him with instructions and from what he told us, he is supposed to kill the ODST's when they attack stalliongrad…and, on a very specific note, kill rainbow dash, get a medic in here, maybe he can help."

(5 minutes later) "Well, perhaps they implanted the instructions in his neural interface issued by the UNSC, so it would be faster to get him back to us, and that's my best guess, captain." Dash was crying, and ridinoff was drunk, and Mendez was freaking out. "However" the medic began "I can do a surgery that MAY replace his implants without killing him—I mean, there is no risk."

Mendez broke free of his restraints and yelled "HELL NO, YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HEAD!" rainbow dash walked up to Marcus and whispered something, and Marcus nodded and let her leave. "Why'd she leave?"Mendez asked. Marcus grinned "she has an Idea to help you, and she has to see the princess"

(Meanwhile, in other parts of ponyville) "Princess, rainbow dash requests an audience with you" a ODST said, while trying not to slouch. The princess nodded "yes, she may see me." And the ODST waved dash on in, then shut the door.

Rainbow dash walked up and kneeled before the princess, then looked at her and asked "could you help me save someone I love with magic?" the princess had a strange look on her face "I heard the story from Marcus about your liking the human named Mendez, but how would magic save him from brainwashing?" rainbow dash kept going "can you raise someone from the dead?" celestia nodded

(5 minutes later) the princess finished her prayer Marcus taught her, and then started watching _lone wolf mcquade_ (1 minute later)(you know what's going to happen) a flash of lighting smashed through the roof, and a calm chuck Norris stood there "yeah, what do you want Marcus? Wait, where's Marcus? Ah, it doesn't matter I have a game of strip poker to play in a bit, so make it snappy!"

Rainbow dash dragged up the itty bitty chunks that once were Fluttershy "can you bring her back?" the princess asked? Chuck nodded and rubbed his crotch all over the chucks "now, just watch, in 5…4…3…2…1.."-WA-BOOM! A blinding flash of light happened, and a cowering Fluttershy was curled up in a ball, brought back the testes of a legend.

Fluttershy looked up "wh-what happened?" she whispered. Rainbow dash said "you died, but chuck Norris brought you back to life." Fluttershy looked at chuck "gee, thank you, Mr. Norris"

Chuck saw her face, and instantly said "it was my pleasure, and if you…y'no, need a planet destroyed, or…lemme cut to the chase, I will do anything for you, if you even think of asking me for help, I will be here before you even open your mouth!" he thought for a second "well, I now made it to be 5:oo pm, so I need to go and play strip poker, and I also have to fight off the Nazi zombies!" and then chuck flew off to the 5th dimension. Again.

Fluttershy turned to celestia and dash "oh, thank you for calling him to help me…is there any way I can thank you?" celestia got a trollish look on her face, but then said "dash needs your help re-habiltating a human". "Ohhh, I don't know what those are, but I'll try my best…" squeaked Fluttershy

As rainbow dash came running in, Fluttershy meekly walked in, peeking around corners. As Fluttershy shook Marcus's hand, some dust landed in her eye, and she inadvertently did "the stare", instantly making Marcus kneel before her, and commit his life to her.

As she walked up to Mendez, she gave him a hug, and made Mendez go into a coma because he couldn't decide who he loved more: Fluttershy or rainbow dash. Fluttershy turned around "we'll be fine now; I put down dragons with this stare." She turned to dash "we should...Umm got to your house and make up lost time" dash smiled, and then said "well, after Mendez wakes back up, then I can show him to you too!" Fluttershy giggled, and Marcus passed out because it was so damn adorable , as dash kept talking "and, see the hotels have king sized beds…"

Authors note: R&R, I can't think of much to say, but I hope you guys like the re-intro of Fluttershy, oh, thank robbytherouge, because he convinced me to re-add her. ALSO, Mendez still will have urges to kill everybody, not even Fluttershy can help all of that.


	15. Chapter 15

Authors note: well, this is it…I hope you enjoy the longest chapter in this story, and this story most likely will not end here…there always is room for sequels!

Chapter 14- OPERATION: LANCER

Marcus looked over the checklist, and checked the load his men would carry, and checked the oil in all the tanks. It was time to take stalliongrad back, they had the best equipment they had left out, and they had a defector that could give a vague idea of what they could expect, and now…it was time to be the end of all this war.

Marcus walked into his command base, and started a radio broadcast to the men:

_ATTENTION, men of the UNSC…today, is the day we take stalliongrad back, every asset we have will be involved, and if we lose here, we will have to leave, because the stupidity of our high command…we will never get the funds to come back…and not all of you will survive, but this is the chance to finish off what's left of these covenant bastards, and protect these ponies from enslavement and death..OPERATION: LANCER will be the last battle we will fight in OPERATION: TROLLING THUNDER, and I will be won in 48 hours, all units, lock and load, only weapons, and medical supplies, nothing much of anything else. Captain Marcus waters, out._

The ODST's looked at each other "so this is it" one of the marines said "then we go home…back to bills, politics, and society" another ODST commented "fuck. That sucks." Most agreed, but some wondered how this would affect Mendez, he loved this place. A sgt stood up "SUCK IT UP LADIES, YOU THINK WHEN YOU DIE! LOAD UP FOR COMBAT!" everyone scrambled to their places, it was time to kill.

(meanwhile, after getting the scramble order at the _Lawrence_)The hammerheads and vultures broke free of their hanger bays, flying to their waypoint, as per captain Marcus's orders, stacker was tasked with piloting the lead hammerhead, and was ready for some "hot 'n' heavy" stuff, and he loved nothing more than hearing the screams of dying covvies.

(back at ponyville) "Marcus! Over here!" ridinoff yelled. Marcus turned and walked over to him "what do you want? Are your men ready to go?" he asked, trying to stay calm. Ridinoff looked right at him "no, it's not that…it's that Fluttershy and rainbow dash wish to go with us, and to keep an eye on Mendez, is that all right with you? Marcus thought about it _If I say yes, I will have a pony who worked with the covvies, and a once-dead pony, and a raging psychopath in my list of men to free a planet...this is going to end well._ He turned back to ridinoff "yes, they can go…arm them, and get in your APC"

(operation: lancer, H-HOUR-30 minutes) "hey, captain!" the APC driver reported "we are going to be at stalliongrad outskirts in 10 minutes, so get ready" Marcus nodded and looked at his men, all battle-hardened veterans…he knew some of them would die today, but not if he could help it.

(13 minutes later) "Captain Marcus, this is stacker flight, we are on station to attack the city, do we have the go ahead?" a voice crackled over the radio. Marcus picked up the radio "yes, stacker flight, all targets not with UNSC IFF are valid, give'em hell, stacker, Marcus out." As he put the radio down, he heard hammerheads and longswords flying over head, and shortly afterward, large explosions and plasma fire. Marcus didn't realize he was sweating at this point.

The driver then reported to Marcus "ok, we are going to start being shot at if you guys don't get out, we are in weapons range, so—" as he was mid-sentence, a FRG round struck the hull of the APC in front of him, flipping it over, and troopers scrambling to get out before it burst into flames. Marcus turned to hit men "EVERYBODY, GET OUT NOW! MOVE!"

As Marcus jumped out of the APC, a wraith plasma shot hit and blew the troop compartment inside out. "EVERYBODY, GET OFF THE ROAD, LET THE GUNSHIPS AND TANKS DEAL WITH IT!" as plasma fire colored the space above the road, they sprinted to the tree line, as a vulture gunship broke afterburner and opened fire on the covvies.

As they watched the vulture lay waste to the enemies, they started jumping from cover-to-cover, trying to get in close and infiltrate the city. Marcus watched a guard tower get obliterated by the vulture , and thought to himself _I wonder if ridinoff has it this easy._

(Elsewhere) "CHERNOV! Keep your head down, you'll be ok!" ridinoff yelled as he kept Chernov from looking at the giant hunk of steel sticking out from his leg "are you sure, ridinoff?" Chernov gasped "that's a big hunk of metal sticking out of my leg" ridinoff put his hand over his mouth "do not worry, Fluttershy will be here in a second" Chernov nodded and then passed out.

(at Fluttershy's position) "Oh, dear, Mr. Alien I'm sorry I shot you, I hope you die in peace" said Fluttershy after she unloaded a CCSH clip into a grunt "we should find ridinoff, he said Chernov needs help" she almost whispered to rainbow dash. Dash looked up again "well, I need to see where he is…WAIT, I see him, he is stabbing a grunt's eye socket out with a spoon! Let's go, Fluttershy"

"AHH! GOD, IT'S GETTING WHITE, RIDINOFF, IS THAT GOOD?" Chernov screamed in pain. Before ridinoff could say anything, Fluttershy ran up to him and whispered "everything will be all right, ignore the pain…for me?" Chernov, upon hearing Fluttershy's words, ripped the metal out of his leg and poured vodka all over the wound, causing him to pass out.

Fluttershy then put a tear on his horrible wound, and it instantly healed, and a rainbow flew out of the sky and revived Chernov. (FLUTTERSHY FTW) Chernov, being 100% percent healed, then lead a charge at the enemy position, and Fluttershy suppressed the MG towers with her stare. Rainbow dash and ridinoff were mind-fucked. Again.

As a vulture flew overhead, the plasma fire stopped on the 3rd shock herd, and focused on it. "MOVE UP!" ridinoff screamed as they charged across the field "URA! ITS THEIR LAND, THEIR PEOPLE, AND THEIR BLOOD! Ridinoff screamed as the stormed the first set of bunkers.

(back to Marcus) "OUTSTANDING! Move up to the next building, clear it out!" Marcus barked as he slapped a fresh mag into his MA5. As the first squad stepped into the next building,

A squeaky voice came over the radio: "gotcha" and a bomb went off, leveling the building, and killing the first squad

"SHIT! EVERYONE, ON THE STREETS! CALL FOR ARMOR TO BACK US UP!" Marcus screamed as more explosions went off in other building. They scrambled onto the streets, and took a look at the carnage the air force did, smoldering wraiths and ghosts littered the streets, and even some crashed pelicans and warthogs were dotted here and there…it wasn't a warzone, it was a massacre

The sprinted up to a pelican that went nose down into the ground and hid in it. "JAKE! Get on the radio, call for a tank to give us an escort!" Marcus ordered. "SIR" an ODST said "where's Mendez? I haven't seen him since we bailed the APC!"

Marcus started panicking "shitshitshit, did you see him leave?" the ODST scratched his chin "uhhh, well, I saw him ducking, and covering his ears, and talking about "the voices" telling him shit…" Marcus got a scared look on his face "ok, after we call for a tank, get the 3rd shock herd on the line, we gotta warn them to hide rainbow dash, and any squad leaders…"

(Meanwhile, at Mendez's location, in the heart of stalliongrad) "RAAAAGH! WHAT DO YOU WANT !" Mendez screamed as he ran down the road, killing all who stood in his way. Grunts and brutes ran at the sight of him, and even the wraith at the street corner was backing away now, he had been shot with plasma and spiker rounds more than even a real Spartan could take.

(meanwhile, in the bunker command room) "holy shit" the chieftain mumbled as he watched the live feed of Mendez killing everyone. He turned to the grunt "what did you do to his programming?" the grunt jumped at the question "uhhh…nothing! At all, I promise…ok, I added a line for him to want to kill rainbow dash" the chieftains eyes went wide "did you put it between line 32?" the grunt nodded

"YOU IDIOT!" he yelled "NOW HE HAS BEEN PROGRAMMED TO KILL THE COVENAT LEADERS AND RAINBOW DASH! What the hell were you thinking?" the grunt looked at him "wait, who is he going to kill first?" at that time they heard a slam on the door, and a very large dent near the lock

But then another dent appeared, and then another, and now a small hole was in the door, and they heard: "ARRRGH! BASILIUSGRUNT MAJORRAINBOW DASH ALL MUST DIE!" as Mendez thrashed at the steel door.

"Oh. Shit." Was all the chieftain and grunt could say as Mendez smashed the door down.

(meanwhile, at 3rd shock herd AO) "MOVE UP! RAINBOW DASH, KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! CHERNOV DESTROY THOSE TANKS!" ridinoff said as they slowly made their way up the street, but something was strange about this street: it was already attacked, and almost all the damage was from hand-to-hand…_not even a hunter could do this sort of damage _ridinoff thought as they chewed through whoever was left.

As they moved the Katyusha MLRU that the 3rd shock army was equipped with to fire barrages against the covvie stronghold, and keep them inside their base until the UNSC's second column got ready, they saw something they would have never imagined seeing: Mendez ripping a brute apart with his bare hands. Rainbow dash broke ranks and started flying to him as he snapped the brute's neck, and he dropped everything else as he saw her.

(meanwhile, at Marcus's location) "WE ARE PINNED DOWN BY WRAITHS, WHERE IS THAT TANK!" Marcus screamed though the radio, and this reply was the tell-tale sound of a wraith exploding. Marcus looked at where the shot came from, and saw a M808 with the name _Stryker _painted on its side climb over some trashed warthogs on that end of the street, and then take out the rest of the enemy armor.

Marcus got out of the crashed pelican and heard over the radio "captain Marcus, _Stryker_ is under your command, show me what to kill!" Marcus replied via COM "roger _Stryker_, let me get my men up on your tread-covers, and then you start rolling to the waypoint in the city center. ALLRIGHT MEN, LOAD UP, AND WATCH THOSE FLANKS! Watch out for ambushes, and FRG's!" Marcus ordered.

(5 minutes later) "left corner, behind the dumpster!' Marcus said. "Roger, I see them, opening fire" was _Stryker's _response as the rolled down the street…it was very quiet once they got on the main road. _Maybe the vultures took out the big stuff? _Marcus thought as the tank neared the waypoint…"SHIT, SCARAB!" and ODST yelled as a huge purple walker rounded the corner of the street. "EVERYONE OFF OF THE TANK" Marcus yelled as _Stryker _opened fire. The scarab started charging its laser as Marcus and his men ran into a building, and watched in horror as the tank got annihilated by the blast.

Seconds later they heard the sounds of vulture rocket fire as they left the zone the scarab was in, and Marcus was hoping it got destroyed by the gunships "OK, the waypoint for the final assault is about I mile away, lets double-time it men!"

(meanwhile) "LOOK, just put her down, Mendez, nothing bad will happen to you" Fluttershy said as Mendez put his pistol to dash's head. "NO,no…it will not be alright, the voices told me! And, even if you don't shoot me after I would let her go, Marcus would have me hung…THE VOICES ARRRGH! THEIR GETTING LOUDER!"

Fluttershy started to do the stare, and Mendez went insane "SAY THE FUCK BACK!" he screamed in terror as he wildly aimed his pistol in Fluttershy's direction "THE VOICES SAY YOUR TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"NO!" someone screamed, and everyone looked to see ridinoff pulling out his sidearm "you will put rainbow dash down, and drop your weapons, Mendez, you were brainwashed, and you should not believe the voices!"

"NO!" Mendez cried "THE VOICES HELP ME…after I started hearing them…they counseled me, and helped me cope my loss of my family…BRAINWASHING OR NOT, THE VOICES TOLD ME TO KILL RAINBOW DASH! He put the pistol up against rainbow dash's unconscious head.

As Mendez started to pull the trigger, a sniper shot was heard, then Mendez's arm exploded, and rainbow dash fell from his grasp. Everyone looked up to see Marcus give the rifle back to his squad's marksmen. As Marcus walked up to Mendez's limp body, you could hear him whisper "I'm sorry, there was no way of avoiding it…god, please forgive me."

As they started using smelling salt to revive rainbow dash, they saw Fluttershy hovering over Mendez's dead body "he didn't deserve it" she whispered "he just needed help…and now it's too late, dash knew he needed help…but he refused help…I wonder how she will feel about this…" she kept going on about that until they looked up and saw the vulture gunships level the covvie base, effectively releasing Equestria from the hands of the covenant.

An ODST walked up to Marcus "sir, OPERATION: LANCER was a success!" Marcus nodded "yes…it was, but we lost many good men, Mendez, the driver of the tank _Stryker,_ 1st squad…so many good men" he put his arm around Fluttershy and said "I'm sorry, I had to shoot him…I didn't want to, either"

Just then, they saw a flash in the sky "COMPANY!" a ODST NCO said "THE PRINCESS IS HERE, EYES RIGHT!" every ODST and pony stood up and saluted as the princess landed in front of Marcus

"Well, Marcus…the UNSC has won, congratulations! " Marcus nodded, wiping a tear from his eye. The princess saw the body, and sadly said "so…Mendez had to be put down?" Marcus nodded

"What if I told you we could bring him back?" Marcus knew what she meant "I don't think chuck Norris could help with that, he is barely even bloody chunks, he is classified as chum now!" the princess had a grim look on her face, as Marcus continued "and, if he comes back, will he still be crazy?"

"not if he comes back as a pony" a voice said. Everyone turned and saw rainbow dash was awake, and trying to stand up now "maybe chuck Norris can bring him back as a pony" she said. Marcus knew what she was saying "yeah, it's a good idea, but I don't think even he has the power to do that—"

Fluttershy stood up and barely squeaked "um, excuse me?"

At that point a lightning bolt hit the ground "FLUTTERSHY! What do you want me to do?" it was chuck Norris, on one knee in front of Fluttershy

"oh, hello Mr. Norris, I was just wondering, can you bring Mendez back as a pony?" Fluttershy asked

Chuck rubbed his beard "well, I can't do that by myself, HOWEVER, because you are so adorable and cute, I think I know how to do that…" chuck then looked up in the sky "BADASSES, ASSEMBLE!"

At that point several bolts of lightning hit the ground, and an ODST called a medic because his eyes couldn't take that much badass sitting in front of him, in a line, there stood: Mr. T, Duke Nukem, Saxon Hale, "Tank" Dempsey, and Will Smith

One guy in the back said what everyone present was thinking:

Holy Shit.

Chuck walked up to them "sorry to call you all together, but Fluttershy asked for us to bring this kid back as a pony, and I need all of you guys to help" they all nodded and Tank commented "at least I don't have to fight freakbags"

As they started to heal him, Marcus wondered if they could even fix him to be a human again, the sniper round pulverized him. He listened to the guys chatter, overhearing "ok, so put your blood in that wound, and try to rebuild the testes, NO! HE CAN NOT HAVE 3 OF THOSE. Tank! Put that bowie knife down…"

Marcus pretended he never heard that and went to go see how dash was doing. As he walked into the tent, ridinoff was putting patches on the small cuts dash had, as well as applying the "ointment as directed" but then, where would she hang out without any pants? (HAHAHAHABAD REFERENCE) "ow, ridinoff, stop tying the bandages so tight!" dash complained as he tried to stop what bleeding she had.

"look, do you want to risk infection? I have lost many men because of infections!" ridinoff yelled as he kept tying. "she'll be fine, ridinoff" Marcus said as he loosened the rags and applied bio-foam "besides, she needs to be able to move to see Mendez in a bit.

Just as he finished saying that, chuck walked in and said "I present, MENDEZ, .0, it was difficult, and I had to get some parts from a few different sources…" Tank walked in and said "he took duke's nutsack, but left the nuts…duke needs some bio-foam". Marcus tossed him a can, and tank left, running to Duke as fast as he could

Then, a tall Clydesdale walked into the room, it was medium sized, was night-black, and emblazoned on its flank was the un-official ODST emblem, the _kanji_, the pony looked at them and said "hey guys, guess what?"

Marcus stood up "Mendez? Is that you?" the pony smiled "hell yeah! I feel, stronger than I was! Though, I need a shower, I smell like ballsack…" rainbow dash ran up and hugged him "I'm sorry if I got you in trouble" dash said to Mendez as Marcus left the tent.

(later that day) Marcus sat down in his office, wondering how he should do his report, and looking out the window at the beautiful countryside as he thought about his return to earth. A knock on the door of his office drew his attention "come in" Marcus said as he got busy on his report. "private Mendez, reporting for punishment, sir" Marcus nodded at Mendez, who was (still to Marcus's shock) a horse.

Marcus put his paper down "what am I going to do with you? You can't head back to earth, you're a horse now! Is there anyone back home who would miss you" Mendez shook his head "no sir, all my family and friends got killed by the flood in voi" Marcus looked down at his paper again "then I will list you as KIA, because I don't want to explain this to command, dismissed, Mendez." Mendez looked at Marcus hard "I'm sorry sir? Listed as KIA?"

Marcus slammed his papers down on the table "LOOK, if you go back to earth, they will not look at you as a human, and if you came back even as a human, you would be in a ward faster than you could blink! Mendez, we may have had times when we didn't see eye-to-eye, but I'm doing this so you can live the rest of your life in peace, not some freak-test subject to the ONI spooks back home!"

Marcus walked to his window "..and, trust me, this is a better life than anything earth could provide, god…I lost everything back on earth, and I even lost myself…I was too busy killing everything to notice, and to an extent, I envy you..you have someone who loves you, a new body, and life to live..then I go back home, to my SHITTY APARTMENT, and just flip the pages of the job ads section! For the rest of my life…and the UNSC most likely will just have a ambassador who hates Equestria, and after that never even head back…"

Marcus just slumped back to his desk and said "you may go, Mendez" and got back to his report. Mendez lowered his head and walked out of the room.

Mendez now thought about it, he caused Marcus so much hell, it wasn't even funny, and now he was being left behind, even though the repercussions of lying about his KIA status would get Marcus hung if it ever got out!

(Marcus's report)

_-End-campaign report/ OPERATION: TROLLING THUNDER-_

_(DATE: classified) CO: captain (formerly sergeant) Marcus waters_

_Casualties: _

_(friendly forces lost) 439 ODST'S, 47 tanks, 25 aircraft details, names, and post-mortems in second report_

_(enemy losses) 3,000+ infantry, 450 tanks, 900 technicals, 2 major FOB'S other details not known _

_Over-all listing/ operation timeline_

_After we landed, we saw immediate fighting, and later took a small town (ponyville) and used it as FOB for entire campaign, the locals are ponies that have magical powers morphology/details included IMPORTANT one of our troopers, pvt Mendez had issues at first few days, and in later date, was KIA by a brute chieftain detail included at, in 5 days, we managed to take out the final covenant forces left in the galaxy-requests/transfers for EVAC to earth put through, and we await orders to return to earth details of each operation included(check secondary report)_

-End file-

Marcus sent the file to command, and awaited there response. He stood up from his chair, and looked out the window again, and after a brief amount of time, he walked back to his desk, and started typing again

(new file, transfer recommendation)

_-URGENT REQUEST-_

_Captain, waters, Marcus_

_requests being implemented as ambassador to the denizens of Equestria, and then requests being discharged from the military details attached. REASON FOR REQUEST(S): my life on earth sucks, and it is great out here details included_

_-end file, SEND? (YES OR NO?) _

Marcus smiled and pressed the send button, and then went for a walk.

(2 weeks later) "Captain Marcus!" a ODST yelled "MESSAGE FROM COMMAND!" Marcus got up off of his chair and ran into the room, and started reading the message:

-_REPLY TO: ALL REPORTS-_

_Captain Marcus,_

_We are giving you the order to send you men back to earth, and as for your request(s) here are your replies: _

_YES, you can stay on Equestria as a ambassador, we are sending supplies for you, and will as you have signed yourself up for a rest-of-your-life job. Have fun, and thank you for winning_

_NO, you cannot quit the military, you need to stay in it so we can still pay you, dumbass._

_Have a nice day. _

_Signed: HIGH COMMAND, Lord Terrence Hood. _

Marcus was ecstatic; he would live a good life for the rest of his days! Other than the princess trying to get in his pants, he would have no more problems! Marcus got on the radio:

"ATTENTION, men of the...fuck it, you know who I'm talking to...Point is, you bastards can go home; the pelicans are coming to pick you up, get your shit, and get ready to leave! Captain Marcus, out."

The ODST's all ran into the barracks to get there stuff: they had seen enough of this planet, they wanted home! Ridinoff watched as the ODST's drove to the LZ at alpha base, and for the first time in weeks, it was quiet in town.

(5 minutes later)Ridinoff looked around, things went back to "normal", people went and bought their food, sat down and talked, they acted (for the most part) like the ODST's never were here! Ridinoff started walking out of town, for what he guessed would be a long walk back to his house; the war was over, what would they need a warrior for?

As the town got to be only a speck on the horizon, ridinoff thought about how much fun he had, he saw old friends, got to kill something in a battle again, and met a person with the same ideas and habits; he knew he would remember Capt. Waters until the day he died. "RIDINOFF!" a familiar voice said "victor, don't leave and go back to isolation!"

Ridinoff turned around to see applejack standing there, panting from the running that she must have done "AJ? What are you doing here? I hadn't seen you since that night, when I thought you would never talk to me ever again for-"

"NO! Don't take that night the wrong way, it wasn't your fault!" AJ said, trying to keep ridinoff from leaving "did you not see it the day I helped you after barklin?" ridinoff shook his head as AJ clarified " I HELPED YOU BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!"

Ridinoff had a blank look on his face "I didn't see that coming." He said as AJ hugged him "now, come back to town, besides, your buddy Marcus didn't leave, he stayed behind to be a ambassador , and you two get along great!" ridinoff finally agreed "very well, AJ, only because you ask me…"

(Elsewhere) "So, Mendez…now we can live a life were we can do whatever we want, and its 20% percent cooler now that you're a pony!" dash said, as they walked into town to show twilight who Mendez was now.

"HEY, TWILIGHT!" rainbow dash yelled as they saw the familiar purple unicorn walking around outside her house "GUESS WHAT!" twilight turned around "oh, hi rainbow dash, who's your...rather handsome friend? Mendez got a big grin on his face and said "you know who I am, I'm just under new management!" twilight got a shocked look on her face "Mendez? How are you a pony that…looks really good?"

Mendez got a very straight face when he said this: "I died, and then Duke Nukem and some other badasses rebuilt me using parts of their bodies...Capschi?" twilight was affixed on something at the time, and Mendez waved his hoof in front of her face "hey…twilight, look at my stallionhood later."

Twilight quickly looked up and blushed "I...uh, wasn't looking, I was going to just take some notes, for, uhhh, science?" dash and Mendez laughed "yeah, sure…if it let's yah sleep at night"

(Seconds later) Marcus walked up, having listened to the whole conversation, commented snidely "as ambassador to earth, I find all of your behaviors very repulsive and vile, please do stop!" Mendez looked and smiled "MARCUS! How are you still here?" Marcus held his letter from command out "it's called being the ambassador to Equestria, dumbass."

-Epilogue-

Marcus stood up and walked over to the area he would build his ambassador building, which was a bar and hotel he would call "loose ends". As he walked to the restaurant, he saw his other guests, ridinoff, twilight, AJ, Mendez and dash, sitting having sour mash whiskey that command gave him.

As he sat down, he started talking to ridinoff about the "battle of barklin" he never got around to being told, and they sat and drank all night, laughing and talking, and Mendez threw the comment in "dude, do you know what would make this story more cliché and sequel-worthy?" Marcus had a nervous look on his face "Mendez, you know the author is listening!" Mendez still went on "well, what if, a piece of that forerunner installation, the ark, crashed on this planet and caused the flood to spread everywhere!"

"NOO! MENDEZ, HE CAN HEAR YOU!" Marcus wailed

(Meanwhile, in real-life) "God, that's a good idea!" Blackburn mumbled to himself "lemme, finish this, and start drafting a sequel…."

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? :

Marcus waters: he now owns a bar and cantina "loose ends" on the out-skirts of ponyville. He doesn't care if the princess hits on him, he has come to like ponies now and has a thing for the princess as well, and also keeps human relations with Equestria good, though, he is also a "hit" with other ponies in town

Mendez: he is still a horse, and loving it, he has screwed most of the other ponies in town, hence his nick-name "big M". he (unofficially) is married to rainbow dash, and they still have "fun". Co-owns Marcus's bar.

Rainbow dash: still a sex fiend, by-and-large, she has had 2 kids with Mendez, and also trys to hit on Marcus, but he is too busy with the princess to listen. She also made this story 20% cooler

Twilight sparkle: she is a lead diplomat for the ponies in negotiations with humans, and she "studies" Mendez any chance she gets, with rainbow dash helping her

Victor ridinoff: he was promoted to lead guard for the princess, and also opened a gunsmith shop in ponyville, and is currently dating both twilight and applejack, as well as gets drunk on vodka at pinkie pie's parties.

Badass grunt: he did indeed survive Mendez's wrath, and is currently being cared for by Fluttershy, and he is now on speaking terms with Marcus and Mendez, but not with rainbow dash. Is now a heavy drinker.

Fluttershy: she takes care of a select few grunts who weren't killed in the war, and also has "rave" parties, and loves "visits" by rainbow dash and Mendez.

Chuck Norris: he now lives on Equestria, and he and his other badasses do all of Fluttershy's bidding, and he loves Marcus's bar.

Applejack: now she is deeply in love with ridinoff, and they both work on sweet apple acres, and partake in "parties" that rainbow dash makes.

-the fucking end. /or to be continued, it all depends on what you think-

Authors note: well, can I say more? Thanks for the few people who enjoyed this story, I am working on 2 more as we speak, so I'm far from finished… -ALSO- I have some polls on my page I would like you to do, so if I re-visit the series, I can get an idea on who to focus on. Anyway, I ORDER you to tell me what you think, again, feedback people, I need to get an Idea on what you guys think of this! But, yeah, also I am making a new poll to follow this: do you want a sequel? If you don't like Mendez's suggested idea, PM me an idea, I'm open-minded!

R&R, see you soon, Michael Blackburn

Approved by rainbow dash AND chuck norris


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